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20100731

0

The Letters From the Death (2006)

Sinopse:
Quando antigos amigos da escola começam a morrer um por um, Sayree e Nataya começam a procurar pelo segredo que envolve a carta que cada amigo recebeu antes de morrer. Aos poucos percebem que são os próximos alvos.

Trailer:


Dados do Filme:
Título Original: Khian pen song daai
Gênero: Horror
Lançamento: 2006
País de Origem: Tailândia
Duração: 90 min
Direção: Kapon Thongphlap

Elenco:
Mahasamut Boonyaruk ... Sayree
Chonlada Mekratree ... Nataya
Andy Kempimok ... Preuk

Dados do Arquivo:
Servidores: Vários
Tamanho: 700 MB -
Formato do arquivo: Rar
Formato do Video: Avi
Idioma do Audio: Tailandês
Legenda: Português
Codec do video: XviD
Codec do audio: MP3
Resolução: 640 x 352
Taxa de frames: 23.976
Qualidade do Vídeo: DvdRip

Links dos Arquivos:
Partes do filme - 1 2 3 4
Legenda: Aqui
ou Aqui

Baixe todas as partes e use o HjSplit para uní-las.
Se quiser saber mais sobre os filmes de terror asiáticos e encontrar aquele filme tanto desejado nos visite no orkut “Japanese Horror Films”
Valewwwwwwwww
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Devilman Dublado (2004)

Sinopse:

Com deslumbrantes anjos e aterrorizantes demônios, vivendo num mundo apocalíptico, o filme narra a história de dois amigos, na eterna luta no bem contra o mal. Devilman é uma adaptação da obra de Go Nagai (Kekko Kamen, Maboroshi Panty), que na década de setenta habitou a televisão japonesa com uma popular versão em anime – hoje um clássico. Trinta anos depois, finalmente temos uma versão em live-action trazida pelo realizador Niroyuki Nasu (BEBOP HIGHSCHOLL), talvez mais em computação gráfica, do que exactamente live-action. Com quilos e quilos de bytes, ele finalmente conseguiu recriar, não só o ambiente infernal, como também os incríveis pesonagens criados por Nagai: anjos deslumbrantes e demônios sedentos por dominação, para além de paisagens apocalípticas e avassaladoras. Akira (Hisato Izaki) e Ryo (Yusuke Izaki) são dois adolescentes, amigos desde infância. Akira é sociável, enquanto Ryo prefere manter-se afastados de todos e isolado em seu mundo imaginário de demônios e monstros. Mas a vida de ambos sofrerá uma reviravolta. Quando o pai de Ryo descobre um portal para o inferno e, acidentalmente, o deixa aberto, os garotos são surpreendidos e possuídos por malignos espíritos que atravessaram o portal. Puro de coração, Akira não se torna um demônio por completo, ao contrário de Ryo, que revela seu verdadeiro caráter. Para detê-los Akira decide iniciar um feroz combate contra as forças do mal e, reluntantemente, contra seu melhor amigo.

Trailer:


Dados do Filme:
Título Original: Debiruman
Gênero: Horror
Lançamento: 2004
País de Origem:
Japão
Duração: 112 min
Direção: Hiroyuki Nasu

Elenco:
Hisato Izaki … Akira Fudô/Devilman
Yûsuke Izaki … Ryô Asuka
Ayana Sakai … Miki Makimura
Asuka Shibuya … Mîko
Ryudo Uzaki … Keisuke Makimura (Pai de Miki)
Yoko Agi … Emi Makimura (Mãe de Miki)
Ai Tominaga … Silene
Bob Sapp … World Newscaster

Dados do Arquivo:
Servidores: Depositfile
Tamanho: 825mb.
Formato do arquivo: Rar
Formato do Video: Avi
Idioma do Audio: Português
Legenda: Naõ tem
Codec do video: XviD
Codec do audio: AC3
Resolução: 640x272
Taxa de frames: 23.976 fps.
Qualidade do Vídeo: DvdRip

Links dos arquivos:
Parte única dublada - Aqui

Se quiser saber mais sobre os filmes de terror asiáticos e
encontrar aquele filme tanto desejado nos visite no orkut
“Japanese Horror Films”
Valewwwwwwwww
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0

Death Note Live Action (1,2,3)

Sinopse:
Raito Yagami é um jovem estudante prodígio que leva uma vida considerada entediante ao seu ponto de vista. Isso muda quando ele encontra um estranho caderno com o título de "Death Note" no chão em um dia de 2003. No ínicio, Raito imagina ser apenas uma brincadeira de mal gosto, mas, após ver as instruções escritas no caderno ele percebe que o mesmo tem o poder de matar as pessoas bastando ver o rosto escrever o nome nesse mesmo caderno.
A partir dai ele começa a aplicar um "castigo divino" em todos os criminosos e malfeitores com o intuito de tornar o mundo um lugar melhor e sem [Criminosos] .
Não demora para Raito descobrir que o caderno pertence a um shinigami [Deus da morte] chamado Ryuuku.
Sem muita demora, a polícia suspeita que alguém é responsável pelas mortes misteriosas dos criminosos. Então, a força policial começa a trabalhar em conjunto com "L", nomeado o melhor detetive do mundo do qual ninguem nunca viu o seu rosto.
Raito agora intitulado de Kira por seus admiradores e pela imprenssa, continua com seu objetivo de limpar o mundo, assassinando criminosos pelo Japão. Começa então um jogo de gato e rato entre L e Raito para ver quem terá sua identidade exposta primeiro.

Trailer:


Dados do Filme:
Título Original: Desu Nōto/Caderno da Morte
Gênero: Horror
Lançamento: 2006 a 2008
País de Origem:
Japão
Duração: 120 min em média
Direção: Shūsuke Kaneko & Hideo Nakata

Elenco:
Ken'ichi Matsuyama as L
Tatsuya Fujiwara as Light Yagami
Erika Toda as Misa Amane
Asaka Seto as Naomi Misora
Shidou Nakamura as Ryuk (voice)
Shinnosuke Ikehata as Rem (Voice in Death Note: The Last Name)
Shigeki Hosokawa as Raye Iwamatsu
Shunji Fujimura as Watari
Takeshi Kaga as Soichiro Yagami
Yuu Kashii as Shiori Akino
Hikari Mitsushima as Sayu Yagami
Shin Shimizu as Kanzo Mogi
Matt Lagan as Lind L. Taylor
Michiko Godai as Sachiko Yagami
Tatsuhito Okuda as Shuichi Aizawa
Sota Aoyama as Touta Matsuda
Ikuji Nakamura as Hirokazu Ukita
Ruben Chacon as Kevin LeRoy
Masanori Fujita as Ryotaro Sakajo
Norman England as FBI Agent
Takeo Nakahara as Matsubara
Yoji Tanaka as Sasaki
Masahiko Tsugawa as Saeki

Dados do Arquivo:
Servidores: Deposit files
Tamanho: 250 mb por filme
Formato do arquivo: Rar
Formato do Video: Avi
Idioma do Audio: Japonês
Legenda: Português
Codec do video: XviD
Codec do audio: AC3
Resolução: 640x272
Taxa de frames: 23.976 fps.
Qualidade do Vídeo: DvdRip

Links dos arquivos:
Filme 1 já legendado - Aqui
Filme 2 já legendado - Aqui
Filme 3 com legenda separada - Aqui

Se quiser saber mais sobre os filmes de terror asiáticos e
encontrar aquele filme tanto desejado nos visite no orkut
“Japanese Horror Films”
Valewwwwwwwww
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20100729

0

Prayer to a Vengeful God (Trailer)

Last year, I reviewed a great indie crime noir film called The Local, directed by Dan Eberle. I gave it 3 spinkicks because it was like a Charles Bukowski poem come to life. Well Eberle is back with his latest movie called Prayer to a Vengeful God and from the trailer it seems its a combination of tearful drama and a gritty revenge noir film put together.

So what's it about?

After the tragic murder of his wife, and mortal wounding at the hands of her murderer, John Krause wakes up from a four-month dream, to a waking nightmare of pain, addiction, violation, loss, and finally, all-consuming vengeance.

PRAYER TO A VENGEFUL GOD is the story of one man’s journey from successful, upper-class citizen, to debilitated mentalcase, to battle-hardened street killer. All to kill a man he’s never met, to commemorate a wife he never really knew.

Told in a lyrical cinematic style, entirely without dialogue, PRAYER TO A VENGEFUL GOD is a silent study of how the lust for revenge twists and rends, and despite its carnal satisfactions, can never change the past.

Hmmm, its completely without dialogue? Now I'm intrigued. I'm not sure how Eberle will pull this off but he's talented enough to do it.

Check out the Facebook page for more info. Its looking like it will be released Fall 2010.

Now check out the trailer below!



20100728

0

Berdella (Review)

Berdella

Berdella (2009)

Directed by Paul South/William Taft

Nobody makes serial killer movies anymore. Sure, we get the occasional made for TV movie but the sleazoid epic is pretty much extinct.

Well Paul South and Bill Taft aim to change that by profiling one of the most notorious though largely unfamous American serial killers of all time. Bob Berdella: The Kansas City Butcher.

Berdella's crimes are as sadistic as Dahmer's, Gacys, etc. However, few have heard of him. He's got his own Wikipedia page so we know when they say this is based on true events....well it is.

As for the film, Berdella is clearly an echo to Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer. It's unrelentless in its depiction of Berdella. He is an odd man, with peculiar friends and his crimes were horrific. Watching this film was like viewing an Unsolved Mysteries episode though if it were made for a grindhouse audience. Sorta docu-horror, it balances between that world of documentary with pure horror chillness.

What you get is a simply a film that is wicked as hell, but raw and gritty as a Henry or a Dahmer. Berdella seems to be a combination of both of them.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Bob Berdella, Kansas City’s most notorious serial killer, was most notable for luring young men to his home throughout the 1980s. He drugged them and tortured them, repeatedly experimenting to see how much pain he could cause them and still keep them alive. And when he went too far, his victims died. He cut up their bodies and set them out with the garbage....
(via Horror Society)

Awesome Review-O-Matic

What you'll notice right away about the film is the throwback scratchy look of the film. From the opening grindhouse title intro to the color schemes that saturate the film, it's made to look like a vintage Times Square shock film. I don't know if this is intentional but it really feels like a 80s VHS 3rd generation dub that I got through a dealer at a horror convention.

At about 80 or so minutes, it's all about Bob. The movie follows Bob through his hard drinking, his day job at Bob’s Bazaar Bizarre where he sold offbeat items and his obsession with all things gay. It's this daily life look that makes Bob Berdella seem ordinary.

But he definitely doesn't give off the "hey he looked like a normal guy" sorta look. Fat, balding and with a vintage Selleck mustache, Berdella looks shady and he is. When night falls, Berdella is a predator Chris Hansen would be scared shitless of.

The movie chains most of the more prolific murders into the movie with one man being hammered, another having his eyes evacuated and also being electrocuted by some starter cables. All these end with asphyxiation via plastic bag. The Gore-ipedia is raw and fucked up as advertised. Tons of blood and splatter are on display and it's not for the squeamish. What we get for a WTF moment is full frontal penis shots. And you're just unprepared to see it.

But its true to Berdella, who was a homosexual serial killer who picked up his victims in gay clubs and bars. It's this truthiness that makes Berdella seem oh so real life cruel and deparaved. As is Seth Correa's performance as Berdella. Correa plays him eccentric and odd and we can feel like he is as bizarre and fucked up as can be. Even his friends and the occasional stranger encounter the off-ness of Berdella but most can't believe that a serial killer could be in their midst.

The movie does suffer from inconsistent performances by the would be victims as well as Correa. The dialogue at times is clunky and a scene with mysterious chili hints at a Dahmer Top Chef but then goes nowhere. Exploitation films were never known for their acting but if all this was intentional, to me it knocks a spinkick off the rating.

Berdella is a time machine to the mid 80s and its filmed in a world full of VHS-ness of the time. If there was an indie horror equivalent of McNaughton's Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, Berdella definitely qualifies. These days, serial killers are made to be likeable (see Dexter) and even are made into PG-13 Lifetime movies of the week. But turn over the other side of the coin, you get Berdella. His crimes were fucked up and the movie plays it out as such.

If you don't get the wiggins watching this, it hasn't done it's job.

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

Feeling like seeing an uber fucked up serial killer movie? Then Berdella is my pick and coming from the jaded viewer, that's high praise. The DVD is available now from the official site. Also check out the Facebook and Twitter pages for more info.

I like how South and Taft marketed this flick. The pictures in the screener they sent me have various grindhouse looks and serial killer sarcasm. It's like they were parodying the fandom that has arisen with serial killers of late. Very clevery.

Rating:

Check out the trailer below.



20100727

0

Critique This! The 4 Types of Critics that I love to HATE

You'd think it would be hypocritical of me to write a post about critics I hate being a supposed pseudo movie critic myself. But oddly, established critics sway what we all think of movies when they come out and they think they know everything about everything regarding movies. I'll tell you straight out, I don't know everything but when I review a movie, I do it subjectively and will tell you what I liked and disliked.

If I like a movie a lot, I will freakin tell you everything I LOVED about it like a Star Trek fanboy next to the Shat. If I hate or dislike a movie, I will comepletely make fun of it and bash it into smithereens. It's just how I roll, its total extreeminess.

I don't have a favorite movie critic myself but I do check Rotten Tomatoes and MetaCritic to look at the averages to see if a movie I want to see is great, average or utter shit. I use to check out all of Roger Ebert reviews and did watch Siskel and Ebert back in the day, but I began to realize old people had different tastes from young people so their opinions weren't really attuned to mine.

As a DISCLAIMER, let me say I respect some fellow critics. Many have the credentials to back up reviews. Many have been in the industry, others have seen more movies than me and others just are an encyclopedia when it comes to their favorite genres. But their are the ones below that I just fuckin wanna punch in the face. You'll ALL know what I mean.

So here ya go. The 4 types of critics I love to hate.

1.) The Celebri-CRITIC


Yes, these are your Roger Eberts and Harry Knowles. When Ebert chided the video game community about video games not being art, he was so fuckin full of himself. Fuck you Ebert. Your a movie critic and you shouldn't add your 2 cents in about something you know nothing about. But I digress. The celebri-critic is a failed filmmaker or a guy at the right time and at the right place who got his 15 and extended the shit out of it. You see them being the "movie expert" when interviewed.

Ugh. These people get on my nerves as their celebrity-ism seems unjustified due to their lack of cred. It's just a dude's opinion and somehow they've become a representative of a certain age group. Ebert for the neo moviephiles and Knowles for the fan boys. So what we've got is these celebri-critics at times misrepresenting moviegoers thoughts on a particular movie because they are the "voice" of that group.

Plus they're probably just being bribed by the studios anyway.

2.) The Old Guys CRITIC

Lots of newspaper critics get to see their blurbs in their own newspapers. I hate the movie advertisements in newspapers. Because I know some old guy who has been reviewing movies since the 1920s seems to think the movie about a 10 year old who lost his dog is "the best family movie of the year!".

Really sir? Also within this old guys type of critic are the radio reviewers. Really? They still review movies on the radio? Has anybody actually heard of a movie review on the radio? I group the newspaper and radio movie reviewers into the old guys group.

They are dinosaurs and only like movies in black and white. God forbid you don't get why Watchmen was awesome or why Kick Ass was so much fun. When the old guys review horror, they've already attached a negative review.

I'm so glad you guys will be unemployed in a few years. All the dinosaurs will die. Reduced to oil to make my car go "Vrooom!"

3.) The Tour De Force Guy CRITIC

I know, I know. It's to easy to make fun of the tour de force guy. But every time I see read a tour de force review, I wanna smack these people in the face. The main characteristics of this type of critic is they believe they have a MENSA movie IQ. You need to Wikipedia all the references they make in their reviews. They make obscure references to some old flicks 3 people have seen. They reference Fellini and Welles and think Scorsese is a demi-god.


Here is an example from some critic from the Minneapolis Star Tribune about Inception.

"Nolan's film is surely the most ambitious psychological thriller ever, and yet also the most personal. His baroque imagination makes most directors' efforts look like beach-pail sand castles alongside Mad King Ludwig's Neuschwanstein Castle."

Fuck your baroque imagination and your Mad King Ludwig Neuschwanstein Castle.

4.) The Freelance-Blogger CRITIC

Well finally its our turn folks. We too are some of the biggest assholes I've ever seen. I group myself into the critic I love to hate. We're the web nerds who voice their 2 cents about ANY movie we've seen. But sometimes we to don't do a good job of actually reviewing movies.

Lot-o-bloggers just write a 3 sentence review that resembles this:

"Predators was awesome! Lots of blood and gore and the girl in it was hot! Go see it!"

I'd hope we'd write something a little more intelligent than that dribble. Sure I do this as well and take the shortcut review with my WTF Lists. But I do those for shits and giggles. When I try to review a film, I try to make it humorously while doing a little bit of analysis. I have no idea if it works but some think so.

We have to be a little bit better when we review films and you know the interwebs community is more harsher when it comes to feedback. If you really hated a flick everybody loved, say so. The blogger critic is a mixed bag of nuts. It's fandom meets pseudo objectivism. A total pot roast of a reviewer and probably the most important movie critic for the future.

Well that's my critique of critics. Hell if I know if you all agree or want to kick my ass but we all utilize our 1st amendment rights when we log into Blogger or Wordpress. I don't hate all critics and their are quite a few I highly respect with most of them coming from the horror blogosphere.

But I'll continue to be hypocritical when I check on whether or not some movie is "Fresh" or has a high MetaCritic score. I hate these critics, but I just gotta know what the score is.

20100726

0

The WTF List: Inception

The summer movies are in full swing and without a doubt Inception is probably going to be the best movie of the summer blockbusters. It's almost made like a bajillion dollars already and the critics are dry humping this movie. Color me interested.

So Inception had to be seen to see what the fuss was all about. And it is indeed freakin awesome.
It's a thinking man's movie filled with ideas and layers and more layers. But at its core, Inception is original and different. So many movies these days are remakes, sequels or stories from other mediums. Christopher Nolan wrote the story over 8 years or so and though it draws from what's been done before, it's cleverly unique. Don't call it The Matrix meets something. I hate when critics do that.

So I bring you a WTF List within a WTF List. Oh its gonna get trippy.

1.) I will always think of Leo DiCaprio as Luke, the homeless kid Kirk Cameron adopts on Growing Pains (but I do think he is a solid actor and I usually buy into the characters he plays)
2.) The # of Dark Knight returning actors is a little much
3.) Well things are getting a little Matrixy
4.) The falling down/water "kick" is completely real (I usually wake up when I feel like I'm falling in a dream)
5.) The thing about Ellen Page is she seems like somebody you'd actually like to hang out with, whereas the wife (Marion Cotillard) you'd just want 10 minutes with (if you know what I'm saying)
6.) Joseph Gordon-Levitt is no longer Tommy from 3rd Rock to me anymore. Ever since I saw him in Brick, the dude can freakin act.
7.) Michael Cane could be in a KFC commercial and it would win Best Picture
8.) Shit's flipping and flopping and its just seamless CGI. Nothing looks too computer generaty.
9.) Obviously, you have to watch and listen closely to understand what's happening. I did. But the other jabronis in the theater are fuckin retarded. Jabronis can only compute: Hot girl, big explosions and celebrity sighting. How in the world will they understand Inception????
10.) It's a heist movie but in dreams. It gets a little complicated, I thought I needed to put what I saw seeing in a Powerpoint graph.
11.) SPOILER (sorta) Airplane (real!) Van chase (Dream 1) Hotel (Dream 2) Snow Mountains (Dream 3) The buildings crumbling you saw in the trailer (Limbo). Got that?
12.) I turned back to see how everybody was enjoying the flick and there were 90% faces of confusion. I'm going to conclude they are gonna so IMDB after they watch the flick so they can explain to their friends how cool it was because they didn't understand it in the first place.
13.) The subconscious is full of some heavy weaponry and lots of car chases and explosions
14.) Upon retrospect, this is how the movie plays out:

  • Ending of the movie is at the beginning,
  • The tutorial for us the audience
  • Recruitment of heisters
  • We are told what the fuck "Inception" actually is
  • Recon
  • The Heist
  • Leo's choice
  • The wildly ambiguous ending!
15.) I came to the realization after seeing this movie that I missed a few things and I'll probably have to watch it again to "get them"
16.) Sneaking into Inception a half hour in or an hour in would be super pointless.
17.) The few jokes that were sporadic...worked
18.) I hope to visit Limbo one day....seems kinda awesome
19.) The movie had to end with a wildy non solid ambigious ending...I called it before the movie started.
20.) Here's my take on the ending (SPOILERS!!!!!)...............









He's still dreaming. We didn't see Cobb waking up from the others dreams (limbo, snowy world, hotel or the van). We saw Ariadne "wake up" from each different dreamscape. All we saw was him wake up on the plane. The fact that he still sees his kids the way he saw him in his dreams says he's still dreaming.

Of course I could be wrong as the spinning top looked like it was about to fall (which is the way he knows he's not dreaming). It's open ended but that's my theory.

All of Nolan's films have ended with a little downer and I don't think Inception ending with everything working out. He's still dreaming and I'm sticking with it.

Rating:


**********************************

But than again, this is not really a WTF List of Inception. You're actually dreaming your reading this in front of your computer (what the hell kind of dream is this?) Or do you really think your reading this review of Inception and think its in reality.

You're still dreaming.

WAKE UP!!!!

20100722

0

It's Comic Con Time! What's your other side of geekiness???

San Diego Comic Con 2010 starts today and lots of my friends are at SD as I speak. I've been to New York Comic Con twice and its quite crazy and massive. It's an experience everybody has to have once so we all can channel our inner geek (because being a geek is now so fashionably cool).

As this site is mostly devoted to 70% horror, cult and exploitation geekiness, there are a couple of other followings I am also a part of. Why am I going to tell you what these are?

Because an unknown masked man has pointed a gun to my head and demanded I tell you all!!!!

You all know some part of you has some other geeky following you're a part of...I'm just admitting it now because my life depends on it! OK so here we go.

  • Star Trek: Yes folks, I'm 60% Trekkie. I watched all the series but I really dug TNG and DS9 mostly. I loved JJ Abrams reboot and I do have a few DVDs and toys in my home. Make it so!
  • Harry Potter: I'll admit it. I read ALL THE BOOKS and have watched all the movies. Somehow back in 2000, I was led to believe it was acceptable for a man in his 20s to read a childrens book and I got hooked. Wands, potions, Voldemort and Hogwarts. I'm a muggle but I love me some magic.
  • Back to the Future: Great Scott! This is my favorite trilogy ever (more than Star Wars or the Matrix, etc). I've always been a time travel diehard and really considered getting a DeLorean at one point (I'm not kidding)
  • Tarantino: I'm a big Quentin Tarantino fan and have all his movies (well except Inglorious Basterds and Grindhouse (that shits gotta be one movie dammit!). We're all Q.T. fans in some form but his movies are totally MUST SEE for me.
  • Kevin Smith: Yup, I dig the fat man from Jersey. I've seen all his films (well except Cop Out as I'll wait to see this on DVD). I've actually seen Smith perform his Evening with at Carnegie Hall. It was mega awesome.
OK...is that enough Mr. Masked Man with the very large hand cannon? I've admitted all my geekiness to the blogosphere. What more do you want??

You want others to tell everybody what their hidden geek cult following is as well? OK guys and gals, what are you a secret devoted follower of? C'mon now, time to share.

It's Comic Con time. It's the perfect time to reveal your inner geekiness. Umm and the masked man really wants to know.....

20100721

0

I've never been called Versatile, but I have been called ambidextrous


I just want to thank the bloggers who mentioned my site for this award. This includes:

(if I missed anyone who sent this my way, my apologies!)
Award Rules:

1. Thank the person who gave you this award
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Pass the award along to 15 bloggers who you have recently discovered and who you think are fantastic for whatever reason! (in no particular order…)
4. Contact the bloggers you’ve picked and let them know about the award.

Last year's awards fiasco has prompted me to not do #3 and #4. My blogroll to your right is filled with Versatile Bloggers and they have all probably gotten this award in some fashion.

Let's just say, the horror/movie blogosphere has the best community on the interwebs and as long as we support and comment on each other's blogs, it's going to continue to get better.

As for the 7 things....

1.) I absolutely hate tourists.
2.) I have mild insomnia
3.) I once saw 7 movies in one day at the same theater (they were all crappy movies)
4.) I played a zombie once in a short film (I never saw the film)
5.) I'm a devout Rockstar Games fan
6.) I start my day with some NOFX every morning
7.) I'm heading to Texas next month. Dallas, Austin and Houston are all stops..so where my bloggers at for a blog meetup!

Thanks again for supporting the site!

20100720

0

My Live Tweet Log from watching "The Client" starring Jennifer Love Hewitt's BOOBS

It's not everyday you get a made for TV movie that's perfect to live Tweet. But when I first heard of The Client List starring Jennifer Love Hewitt's boobs, I knew I had to just go ahead and make you all aware of these magnificent melons and their latest appearance on TV.

Sure we've seen them in the Ghost Whisperer but who the fuck actually watched that show? I sure as hell didn't. But you know JLove's tits were going to make mucho appearances about a mom turned hooker for the love of her family (awwwwww..yay for mom!)

Was it sappy as hell? You betcha! *wink* *wink*. Was their gratuitous cleavage and seriously hot whores? Yuppers. Was their alot of crying and waterworks. Boo Yeah hoo. But you know why we all watched this of course. Because remember folks, everything is bigger in Texas and JLove's boobs fit right in.

So here is my Twitter log from yesterday's premiere. Remember you can follow me on Twitter @ jadedviewer. This is my 2nd running live tweet (I did one for the bad torture porn Train)

This is what you missed. Enjoy!

jadedviewer #TheClient starring #JenniferLoveHewitt's boobs is on in 15 and I don't have Lifetime in HD?!?! WTF! #JenniferLoveHewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer
Oh well in a few I'll be live tweeting various comments on this badly disguised Skinemax movie! #JenniferLoveHewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer Of course this could only happen in texas....love looks super hot in curlers. #Jenniferlovehewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer The boobs make their first appearance. They're real and they're spectacular! #Jenniferlovehewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer Jeez jlove's cleavage are weapons of mass erections. #Jenniferlovehewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer Jlove just realized she's gotta give happy endings at her new job. She had the biggest "oh" face ever. #Jenniferlovehewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer "At the end of the day it beats the hell out of waitressing!" These are the hottest massage therapists ever. #Jenniferlovehewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer If this was on cinemax, we would have seen heaven 5 minutes ago. jlove just got naked. #Jenniferlovehewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer Omg its a montage of jlove boobs in lingere...this is unfreakinbelievable. #Jenniferlovehewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer The lifetime commercials are like an endurance test for me. #Jenniferlovehewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer We hit the hour mark and that's when shit hits the fan. A kid is gonna call jlove a whore in 3..2..1 #Jenniferlovehewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer Jlove's boobs are hooked on coke....omg the cops just busted in! (Pun so intended) #Jenniferlovehewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer Jlove's boobs are crying...it isn't a lifetime made for tv movie without some gratuitous crying. #Jenniferlovehewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer Omg that black lawyer is from battlestar galactica! #Jenniferlovehewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer Wow even tiger woods is on this client list...he really got around. #Jenniferlovehewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer Only 30 days in jail for whoring...way to joves boobs! #Jenniferlovehewittsboobscanact

jadedviewer What have we learned? When yr broke become a whore. Then teach the johns wives how to do it right. #Jenniferlovehewittsboobscanact

Did you watch this masterpiece of boob on film? Thoughts? Comments? Bad puns? And be sure to join this Facebook page by clicking on the picture below!


20100719

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FREE MAIDEN (South Korea, 1982)



FREE MAIDEN
Ja-yu-cheo-nyeo
Released: October 29, 1982
Republic of Korea
Shin Han Films Co., Ltd.

Directed by Kim Ki-young
Written by Lee Mun-wung
Producted by Jeong Do-hwan
Cinamatography by Jeong Pil-si
Art Direction by Lee Myoung-soo
Editing by Hyun Dong-choon
Lighting by Seo Byoung-Su
Music by Han Sang-ki

CAST
Ahn So-young
Shin Seong-il
Kim Won-seob
Cho Ju-mi
Han Woo-ri

The stirringly lovely Ahn So-young, star of the (very) soft-core hit film AEMA BUIN, plays a free-spirited young graduate student whose casual affairs with impressionable young men causes consternation among her colleagues. Motivated by a pursuit of commitment free-pleasure, So-young feels little guilt about bedding and forgetting a string of handsome beaus. Like the AEMA series, the model here would seem to be the European EMANUELLE films, with their schmaltzy, discofied ambience and (often hypocritical) free-love ethos. But FREE MAIDEN was directed by South Korea’s premier eccentric auteur Kim Ki-young and he takes this formula and curdles it, making a film that is riddled with his own bizarre obsessions.

So-young’s commitment-phobia is seriously tested for the first time by an older professor whom she feels sympathy for after learning of his recent suicide attempt. It seems the old doc can’t get it up anymore and has fallen prey to the depths of despair. His loving wife tries in vain to alleviate his impotency by all manner of oddball cures in an extended sequence that’s pure Kim. A bitter herbal broth chased by an assortment of multi-colored hard candies, pornography, dressing in a middle-eastern-y looking veil, hypnosis and finally standing him on his head and shaking his legs around vigorously. None of this works of course. If you’ve seen any of Kim’s other films like INSECT WOMAN or WOMAN OF FIRE I’m sure you can guess what eventually does cure his chronic erectile dysfunction. A chance encounter with So-young provides the opportunity for the professor to loosen (and stiffen) up but his despair seems too great and an initial seduction ends in failure. But while wandering an empty field at night our loveless doc (an entomologist obsessed by butterflies) is entranced when So-young hoists up the sides of her dress and flaps them around like an insect. The professor chases her with his butterfly net, catches her, tosses her to the ground, flings her legs apart and re-discovers his manhood. It’s another memorable scene that could only have sprung from the cracked imagination of Kim Ki-young.

An intense affair begins, despite the abject disapproval of So-young’s fellow students. So-young has finally learned how to feel real love. But soon enough it becomes apparent to the professor’s suffering wife what is going on. She takes legal recourse (it seems as though adultery is a serious civil offense in the Republic of Korea, or at least it was at this time), threatening suit and forcing So-young to sign papers forbidding her illicit affair with the older woman’s husband. Though crushed, she agrees, but attempts suicide by taking an overdose of pills. She survives, perhaps because the bottle of pills she swallows clearly states that they’re “Vitamin E” tablets (?!?!?). But passion cannot be denied and the professor seeks her out for one last rendezvous, which makes up the films climatic and best love scene, an intense and emotional love-making swathed in vibrant and cartoonish crimson lighting. It’s the only such scene the escapes either faux-Europorn cheesiness or the loopy almost by-the-numbers eccentricity of director Kim. It’s also the only time in this film or in any other South Korean movie I’ve seen of any sensual nature that comes close to matching the vivid intensity of the contemporaneous Japanese “Roman Pornos”. It’s a wonderful, galvanizing and even emotional sequence that should linger long in your memory. The movie just sort of winds down after that, having blown its stack, so to speak. There isn’t much to say about the conclusion, really. Everyone is back to square one and no-one gets a happy ending.

FREE MAIDEN was one of a number of cheap films Kim made during the late 70s through the middle-to-late 1980s which were intended to meet quota requirements imposed by the government on studios importing foreign films. Although intending to pump fresh blood into the increasingly moribund Korean film industry, the actual outcome were scores of zero-budgeted melodramas that for the most part did no favors to the often negative view that the international film scene held about movies made in the ROK. But there were some fascinating pictures that pulled through and are ripe for cult rediscovery, for example: oddball z-grade horrors like THE WHITE WOLF or VENGEFUL VAMPIRE GIRL, deranged gothics so cheap and bizarre they remind one of early 90s Pakistani horror/sleaze. Kim’s pictures from this era are also on the rise in cult circles, although they were first rediscovered by the iconoclastic Korean cinephiles that would eventually breed world class film-makers like Bong Joon-ho and Park Chan-wook. Movies like this one or HUNTING FOR IDIOTS or the bizarre INSECT WOMAN redux CARNIVORE are captivating in a wayward, off-the-cuff manner that deftly showcase Kim’s truly original and obsessive style. He himself was highly dismissive of these films, noting “Those are sort of jokes in a way. I made them with no intention of creating a real piece of work … I made them hastily in a mood of self-mockery”. And while they are not nearly as “well-made” as his 1960s classics like THE HOUSEMAID or GORYEOJANG or as psychedelic and powerful as the 1970s efforts PROMISE OF THE FLESH or I-EO ISLAND, they are nonetheless fascinating examples of peculiar world exploitation cinema. They are easily comparable to wonderfully idiosyncratic works from Jess Franco or Jean Rollin from this same period in Europe or demented no-budget US horror flicks like BOARDINGHOUSE or THE JAR. Films that have sidestepped any normal mainstream mode of film-making and seem instead to have been shot straight out of the wild, fevered imaginations of the irresponsible auteur crafting them. MAIDEN, like any of the films mentioned above, is a very imperfect cinematic artifact but which is nonetheless deeply engrossing anyway, precisely because of these imperfections and not despite them.

The principal selling point of FREE MAIDEN is the wonderfully sultry presence of Ahn So-young. So-young was born in 1959 and made her first film, MU-RIM BATTLE, in 1978. But it was her title role in the “ero-movie” classic AEMA BUIN, released in early February 1982, which made her a star. That picture was an immediate hit and ushered in a brief golden era of softcore sex productions in the faltering South Korean film industry. It spawned no less than 10 sequels making it the longest lasting film series in Korean film history to this point, although only the first featured Ms. Ahn. Although ostensibly erotic, both AEMA and MAIDEN are rather chaste when compared to European or Japanese softcore movies from this same time, not to mention the increasingly profane hardcore productions from all over the decadent west. The nudity in AEMA was teasing only, no full frontal anything. The same can be said of MAIDEN although there are a few more instances of tit-flash than in its more successful predecessor. According to the Korean Film Database (more reliable by far than IMDB) So-young made 23 films between 1978 and 1995 when her filmography then goes mysteriously blank. It is unknown to me why So-young retired but one may gather that perhaps she married at this time and settled down into a traditional Korean lifestyle, which probably forbids a woman from working period, much less working in sexy movies. There is a rumor that at one time she lived in the US and had opened a restaurant but I could find no substantiation for this story. However So-young returned to film in 2007 with THE SUN TOLD ME TO …, a romantic drama.

To be fair, FREE MAIDEN is not as good as AEMA BUIN or any of the other Kim Ki-young films I have seen. Kim’s disinterest shows through in the movie’s many plodding dialog and expositionary scenes, which are shot with none of the passion and verve that highlights even the most trivial scenes in his 60s and 70s work. And excepting the gorgeous force of nature that is Ahn So-young, there are no other great performances here, only perfunctory ones. Still, there is enough of Kim’s eccentric stylistic tics and enough sensual allure to hold one’s interest throughout. And as Kim only made 34 films during his long career (several of his contemporaries made as many as twice that number) and as a significant number of those are now partially or wholly lost, any entry in his filmography is a must-view for his acolytes, for whom even the most lackluster film contributes an important piece of the puzzle to the understanding of this most obscure and uncanny auteur.

Special thanks to my friend Mathieu St-Pierre for his help researching this review. Check out his great review of AEMA BUIN here.

0

Jennifer Love Hewitt's BOOBS star in "The Client List"

So I was at my local mall last weekend and while on a search for a new belt (I'm not kidding) I noticed my mall seems to have advertising all over the place. It looked like a Times Square movie billboard. I counted 15 posters for Step It Up 3D (which is to be expectted), 11 posters for Despicable Me and 6 or so posters for a Lifetime Movie of the Week. Yes folks, a Lifetime movie. And this was no ordinary movie...no no. This one stars Jennifer Love Hewitt. Or more precisely, Jennifer Love Hewitt's boobs.

I wasn't shocked to see a movie ad for Lifetime movie. Tons of moms watch this channel including mine. So it's easy to figure they were advertising to these mothers. But the picture of JLH got my attention looking all seductivey and once I got home I had to find out what this was all about.

It's called The Client List (official site here) Here's the poster I saw.

A mother will do anything for her family! And it's "Inspired by a True Story"! Holy fuckin cow. I am so watching this today!

So what's the whole story? Here ya go.

Inspired by a true story, this Lifetime Original Movie is the story of Samantha Horton (Jennifer Love Hewitt), a former Texas homecoming queen and physical therapist. When both she and her husband, Rex (Teddy Sears), are laid off from their jobs, Samantha accepts an offer to work at a massage studio in a nearby town, not realizing that the other staff members are actually prostitutes who service a clientele of wealthy and powerful businessmen.

Eventually realizing what goes on behind closed doors, but desperate to provide for her family, Samantha goes along for the ride. But when the police raid the business and Samantha is arrested, she ends up as a key witness in the case — putting high-profile johns in handcuffs and bringing a small Texas town to its knees.


It also stars Cybill Shepperd and that hot black girl from that movie I forget! Oh man, it gets so much better. Even the preview pictures are awesome.


I'm doing this for my family! Not for the thrills or money!

I'm just a regular mom with regular size boobs. Don't call me a MILF!



My daughter baked these cookies. You have to eat one before you see my cookie.


I'm the luckiest sonnavabitch ever. Why am I crying like a sissy?

OK that's enough of the photos. Now it gets waaaaay better. Now check out the videos. Holy cow man, I think Love's boobs need to win an Oscar for their performance. Somebody call the mammary police because these should be locked up.


First up, the trailer!





This is the best performance by JLH boobs in a drama. If this doesn't make you see this, I don't know what will.





And finally, I want to visit this town as this is some excellent massaging going on.




Well I'm definitely watching this badly disguised Skinemax film for sure. Whose with me? Do I need to give you another visual? Jeez.

20100715

0

Machete Maidens Unleashed! (Trailer)

I can't believe this documentary was not on my radar at all. But perusing around Twitch, this trailer will smack you like a Weng Weng punch. From Mark Hartley, who gave us Not Quite Hollywood (his doc about the Australian exploitation boom), here he gives us a glimpse into the retro nuttiness of all things Filipino exploitation.

I should be an expert on this but I'm not. I've only seen a handful of 70s and 80s Filipino exploitation movies (some goofy war flicks and most of the Weng Weng flicks). I've also seen their cheesy B-movie horror flicks where monsters and pseudo vampires (they call them Aswangs) films. Obviously, I've seen some of the blaxploitation and kun fu-sploitation that took the jungle meets civilization approach. This excellent blog profiles all the Filipino Vietnam war movies When the Vietnam War raged... in the Philippines.

Knowing a few things about Filipino culture, their identity is a very mixed bag of colonization, war and corruption. Blending in Spanish, Chinese and American influences with their own culture, its reflected in their entertainment. Their film and TV spoofed Hollywood and took knee deep lore and legends and blew them up into rubber monster movies. War movies spawned and Bruce Lee was the hero the everyman Filipino could believe in...so why not imitate him.

The trailer alone is chock full of kung pow insanity. I am very psyched to see this. It premieres on July 24th @ the Melbourne Film Festival...in freakin Australia! Damn, I wish I lived in Australia...for like a week.

Head over to the Facebook page for more info!

OK enough talk. Check out the trailer below. What do you all think?



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Goth (2008)

Sinopse:
O Goth é sobre um serial killer que sequestra garotas bonitas, corta a mão delas, mata e depois coloca elas normalmente em locais famosos na cidade para todos verem...
uma colegial estranha que tentou suicídio e que todos tem medo se junta há um rapaz que gosta muito de livros sobre assassinos famosos para descobrir quem é o assassino...
na trama ainda tem uma garota que tem o dom de encontrar pessoas mortas e muito mais personagens estranhos...

Trailer:


Dados do Filme:
Título Original: Goth: Love of Death
Gênero: Horror
Lançamento: 2008
País de Origem: Japão
Duração: 96 min
Direção: Gen Takahashi

Elenco:
Rin Takanashi,
Kanata Hongô,
Chika Kumagai

Dados do Arquivo:
Servidores: Vários
Tamanho: 310 mb
Formato do arquivo: Rar
Formato do Video: Avi
Idioma do Audio: Japonês
Legenda: Português
Codec do video: XviD
Codec do audio: MP3
Resolução: 512 x 288
Taxa de frames: 23.976
Qualidade do Vídeo: DvdRip

Links dos Arquivos:
LinkPartes em Avi Legendado - 1 2

Se quiser saber mais sobre os filmes de terror asiáticos e encontrar aquele filme tanto desejado nos visite no orkut “Japanese Horror Films”
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20100714

0

Splice (Review)

Splice

Splice (2010)

Directed by Vincenzo Natali

[this review brought to you by Insano Steve who'd like to have his DNA re sequenced one day]

I've always enjoyed movies where doctors try to fuck with human DNA in order to satisfy their genetic curiosity (and spite all of God's creation). Therefore, I was very excited when I initially saw the trailer for Splice. During a long layover in San Francisco recently, I was able to see this very unique film. It's a bit difficult to review this film without giving out any spoilers, so I'll just tread lightly on a few important points.

Plot: Two brilliant geneticists (played by Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley) are working on a gene splicing project in order to help find cures for all of life's many diseases. So far the project has been a huge success, as they've genetically engineered a couple of amorphous sloth-like creatures who's bodies are chock-full of cure-all medicinal chemicals. These blobs are made from DNA from a variety of animals (and some plants!).

One day, however, the two geneticists (who are also lovers) come up with a great idea: Wouldn't it be scientifically awesome to add some human DNA to their amorphous blobs and see what happens? Suffice it to say, the resulting offspring is not what they expected. And, at that point is where the spoilers would start to become necessary.

Acting: There's only maybe 6 actors in this entire film and they all do pretty good. The budget sure didn't seem that big, so acting actually mattered here.

Before Splice, I'd never seen an Adrien Brody movie. He's been in many movies that have won awards. Movies that I've never seen, and never will see. Brody was born in Queens, NY. Most recently, he was seen kicking a surprising amount of ass in 'Predators'. In Splice, he plays the more thoughtful/ethical/wimpy scientist.

Sarah Polley was the star of the underrated slacker movie, "Go". She fell off the face of the earth after that. Good to see her back working. Polley totally rocks the shit in this movie. In Splice, she plays the reckless/down for whatever scientist. Kind of like a grown up version of her “Go” character.

Finally, Delphine Chanéac, a Frenchy model/actress, plays the resulting humanoid DNA experiment. Her 'acting' in this film is 1 part Frankenstein, 1 part Natasha Henstridge.

Gore: Minimal gore. A couple of human deaths. Several random farm creatures are eaten alive. Bad humanoid! Bad humanoid!

T&A: Oh yeah, we get to see some female humanoid nudity. But as a guy, I'm still confused on how I should have felt about that. Um, I'm going to say I didn't enjoy it, just in case.

WTF Moment: Oh, there's a couple of good ones. A separate future article would be necessary for this.

Conclusion: See Splice. Seriously, see Splice! This was a super fun movie to watch. At first, I had hoped this would be a semi-realistic look at the dangers of gene manipulation.

As it turns out, it was just a B-movie, but a thoroughly enjoyable one. Seriously, if you haven’t seen it yet, go see Splice!

Rating:

Check out the trailer below.