3 Pairs of Arnold Schwarzenegger Films that are Unintentionally Connected

During Hurricane Irene, I bummed around the web looking for inspiration for a new feature. Shit, I had a few hours to burn before the hurricane-apocalypse (which turned out to be a dud). Remembering old conversations Insano Steve and I had and giving a quick glimpse of Arnold Schwarzenegger's filmography, one can find many instances where Arnold's films tend to blend together. [light bulb appears over head!]



Sure Arnold has made a ton of film series (The Terminator trilogy and the Conan series) but if you really think about it, some of his films are unintentionally connected. Sure I've made Arnold lists in the past (see Top 10 Villains from Arnold Schwarzenegger Movies) but bear with me as I try to connect 3 pairs of Arnold flicks and explain how they fit together.





3.) The 6th Day/The Running Man



How are they connected? The Running Man is a sequel to The 6th Day



Explain that shit: The 6th Day takes place in 2015 and if you've seen it, it's about a man named Adam Gibson who finds out somebody has cloned him and the clone has infiltrated his job and family. Gibson with the help of his clone obliterates the mad scientist and his goons and the Gibson clone decides to go out on his own to Argentina to start another branch of the charter helicopter business.



But what if the clone decided not to go to Argentina?



The Running Man is actually the Gibson clone (he's changed his name to Ben Richards because he doesn't want to be known as Gibson 2.0) and his adventures on a reality show gone amok. Oddly enough it takes place in 2017 and Richards is an ex Military pilot (ahem ahem). The two worlds are eerily similar with mad game shows, cloned pet commercials and violent football games.



Surely this can't be a coincidence right?



2.) True Lies/Eraser



How are they connected? True Lies is a sequel to Eraser



Explain that shit: Eraser was about a US Marshal (John Kruger) who "erases" the identity of a corporate whistle blower but ends up protecting her from the evil James Caan. It's clear Mr. Kruger does his job well and deserves a promotion. He's good with secrets, coming up with multiple identities for himself and his clients. So isn't it likely he got promoted because of his awesome reputation to The Omega Sector, a US terrorism task force.



True Lies continues the adventures of "The Eraser" as he uses his expert erasing skills to change John Kruger to Harry Tasker, international man of mystery. It's clearly in the same universe and not out of the realm of possibility that The Eraser erased his own identity to lead a double life.



1.) Commando/Predator



How are they connected? Commando is the sequel to Predator



Explain that shit: Insano Steve initially came up with this one and it's kinda fuckin scary how it could work. Dutch is the leader of an elite military special forces group and well yada yada yada... you know the rest. Everybody gets killed, the predator blows himself up and Arnold escapes from the island.



It's pretty traumatizing for our boy Dutch. Your best friends have been killed, you've encountered an alien life form and you barely survived. Clearly, you would want to tell people about your story about how the men under your command performed bravely against an extraterrestrial.



But the military decides to force you to retire and keep quiet about the aliens in Guatemala so you build a life, bang a Norwegian hooker, have a daughter and end up changing your name to John Matrix. I always thought Bennet killed Matrix's wife. In any case John and Jenny Matrix will live happily ever after...that is until General Kirby fuckin shows up.



That's when you start leaving bodies piled up and killing entire armies.



Somehow everything catches up to our boy Dutch/Matrix. Still suffering from post traumatic alien disorder, Dutch/Matrix deals with it the only way he knows how: obliterating Val Verde from top to bottom.



All for his little girl.

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Can you think of any other connections in Arnold flicks? I've been thinking Kindergarten Cop is a prequel to End of Days (Lovable John Kimble has a tumor, quits the police force and battles Satan) but that might be stretching it a bit.



Are there any other films you know of that might be unintentional sequels or prequels to each other? Sound off fellow jaded viewers.

Who should be in the Action Hall of Fame? (The Results)

The results are in!

I asked you all who should be in the Action Hall of Fame and you left some great comments. I got some great feedback and a few others chimed in via the poll and comments.

Jackie Chan is your winner! As you can see in the poll below he garnered 51 out of 182 votes.

Coming in second was my man Jean Claude Van Damme followed by Jason Statham in 3rd. Jackie Chan is most deserving to be in the Hall with the likes of Schwarenegger, Willis and Stallone. His action resume is freakin stellar on both sides of the ocean.

I got some great comments on why Jackie Chan came in first. See below.

Alyssa wrote:

"Jackie Chan is the shit.. no one compares, and he is an amaizing person who made worldwide people entertained with his sick ass moves!"

JustinH wrote:

"jackie chan without a doubt, forget his american movies, what he has done for world cinema throughout the late 70's until now has been incredible. The amount of pain doing them death defying stunts and brilliant fight choreography are untouched. Also he's a director,producer,writer,stunt chor,fight chor,singer,editor, everything. he is the ultimate action hero."

Rabid Fox wrote:

"Begrudgingly, I must tip my hat to Jackie Chan. I enjoy so few of his movies, but there's no doubt that the guy's filmography is prolific. And the guy does so many of his own stunts, I have found the end credits to his movies where they show the mishaps of stunt work to be more enjoyable than the actual film."

Thanks to all who voted and I'll be coming up with a new poll soon!

Congrats Jackie Chan! You deserve it!

Who should be in the Action Hero Hall of Fame?

After watching The Expendables, I was disappointed in the fact that assembling a bunch of heavy duty action stars didn't just equal super uber awesomeness. We saw the "Big Three" in one scene for the first time. It's a given if there was an Action Star Hall of Fame, these 3 names would be the first ones inducted.

Arnold Schwarenegger, Sylvester Stallone and Bruce Willis have the stats, cred and films to make their induction a foregone conclusion. I'd even throw in posthumously Bruce Lee and maybe even Chuck Norris and Jet Li in there.

But as of today, who else could get the votes to join these guys?

Well, I'm going to put a poll in the right nav bar with the nominees below. You can go ahead and vote who you think should be in the HOF. But first here are 4 that can make a case for getting in.

I know there are probably some write in votes, so if you have somebody in mind leave em in the comments. Also, I'm not forgetting about our favorite action heroines. We'll get to that one at a later date.


1.) Jean Claude Van Damme

Why he should get in: Bloodsport is the pinnacle of full contact tournament movies. Throw in Univeral Soldier and one of my hidden gems Lionheart and he has a resume of uber action.

Best Movie: Bloodsport

Why he should NOT get in: Early success led to a later straight to dvd crapfest. Van Damme's insistence on "character action" has led to most of his movies ending up in the dollar bin and an absence from any American theatrical releases.


2.) Steven Seagal

Why he should get in: Seagal's 90s movies were "I beat em up and I don't even get hurt at all" slaughterfests. An American turned Japanese who seemed to create a new kind of action hero. He's stayed relevant with a few name flicks with the last being Machete.

Best Movie: Under Siege

Why he should NOT get in: Seagal also ended up in the dollar bin with bad straight to dvd snoozefests. Action stars usually get beaten up and redeem themselves at the end. Seagal never ever got a scratch on him. Where's the action in that?



3.) Will Smith

Why he should get in: The Fresh Prince is the most bankable Hollywood action star. His movies gross obscene amounts of money, he's got the humor, the brawn and the kick ass attitude.

Best Movie: Independence Day

Why he should NOT get in: He's tried to move away from the action cinema and gone towards more dramatic roles. His action resume is shorter than the others on this list.


4.) Jackie Chan

Why he should get in: He made the kung fu/comedy action movie popular again and took action scenes to another level. Nobody can duplicate these scenes of insane martial arts with funny ha ha's. Chan's action resume is insane.

Best Movie: Police Story

Why he should NOT get in: His first stint into American action cinema didn't go well and his latest movies have lacked the "oooomphh" of his early work. Those Rush Hour movies were kinda ugh no?

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OK, now it's your turn. I know you have others you want to nominate and you should. So go ahead and chime in. Who else should be on this list?

Now out of these random 4 action stars, who DESERVES to be in the Action Hero Hall of Fame with the other 3??? Oh BTW, explain why they should be in there.

[Cue gunfire into gas tank and big explosion]

The WTF List: The Expendables (Review)

The super team concept is nothing new. Let's pile on the stars and blow shit up. Ensemble casting works and with the action movie as low as its been in years, you need the star power to get people into the theaters.

Oddly, as I was watching this I kept thinking how The Expendables can be compared to the Miami Heat. Stallone is Wade, Lebron is Jason Statham and Bosh is Jet Li. All sacrificed their egos at the door to make one blockbuster movie. Did you think anybody from the team was going to die? Hahaha...seriously right? Fuck no. They're all badasses. Terry Crews and Coutoure are the non mega stars but no way were they gonna die.

I mean even the bad apple (Dolph) survived. So we can say the Miami Heat are the super friends coming together to destroy every team in the NBA. But the big question for the Heat is will everybody be happy with less points and being "The Man" on his team for the sake of a championship? Nobody knows for sure but when I watched The Expendables, the screen time was sacrificed by all.

Here's what I noticed:

• Stallone kicks ass but doesn't have the awesome murder death kills he usually has
• Statham steals the show here (knife throwing plus gun play) and that basketball scene making him the "true star" of The Expendables
• Jet Li gets some token screen time via Dolph

I was so hyped to see all these mega stars together that when they were 187-ing the Val Verde (or whatever that country was called) army I was a little underwhelmed. Sure it was fun but too much star power I think was overkill.

Let's explore this further with a WTF List.

1.) Do you really need to send in The Expendables when you gotta kill Somali pirates? I think the Navy did a good job on this.
2.) HOLY FUCKIN COW! The uber mega scene between Stallone, Willis and Schwarenegger was every fan boys dream come true.

(sidenote: I think Arnold's character of Trench is really Dutch (from Predator) who in reality is really Matrix (from Commando))

3.) The Expendables are such a goofy crew when you break them down racially: You got a big roided up American, a British guy, a Chinese guy, a pa pa powerful black dude, a Swedish guy and a fucked up ear guy.
4.) They are taking on a former CIA agent white guy, Stone Cold and an entire South American Army
5.) Seriously, Matrix could have easily wiped out the army of Vilena in 20 minutes (see Val Verde)
6.) The knife throwing Lee Christmas should have his own movie
7.) The car chase scene to the airplane was really lame....right? Though it led to mega 'splosions
8.) I like how Stallone wrote up a scene for Statham (basketball scene) and for Li (vs Dolph). Cmon, we would have loved seeing Jet Li wipe out an entire platoon by himself
9.) I have the exact number of explosives they planted. It was 1,947.
10.) That Vilena girl wasn't even that hot. Couldn't they get Zoe Saldana? She will act for food.
11.) These island nations should really not accept a shady ex CIA agent's help.
12.) Pa pa pa pa POWER!!!! (in other words Terry Crews can blow up lookout towers looking cool)
13.) OMG, was that an action montage within another action montage within another action montage???!?!??!?
14.) I think I counted 4 wrestling moves, 3 MMA moves and 89 martial arts moves.
15.) Stone Cold acting tough is such a stretch
16.) I feel for the henchmen army. All they wanted to do was support their families by earning meager paychecks from the government. Now all of them are dead, dismembered or highly unconscious
17.) And why was Mickey Rourke in this?
18.) Technically, Stone Cold fucked up Stallone
19.) I appreciate a good decapitation
20.) So all I need is 5 million dollars to hire The Expendables? Do you guys do birthday parties?

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Sure its filled with action cliches and alpha male bravado but its still a solid flick. Each of the "big 3" could have had more screen time and I kinda felt too much stuff was going on at once. The CGI blood and explosions were aggravating to watch but who I to complain as Stallone did it in Rambo.

The Expendables is a very movable objects meeting an unstoppable force. It's an entertaining movie but a bit boring. Here goes my last NBA analogy. Would I rather see the Heat destroy the Clippers by 50 or see Kevin Durant and the Thunder plays a close game as he hits the game winner.

I'm picking the latter. Now where's my Crank 3 Jason Statham???


Rating:

1/2

Check out the "Call to Arms" trailer below!