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20110112

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The Jaded Viewer's Predictions for 2011

I had a few features I wanted to write about what we should all expect in 2011 via film but they all sorta made sense to go list a few Nostradamusisy predictions instead. When in doubt, always go with a list I always say. Who knows what 2011 will bring in the world of horror but I'm going out on a limb with my guesses and predictions.

If any of these come true, I've got proof I'm psychic. Now place your bets.

1.) Steampunk will be Hollywood's Newest Exploitation

With Sucker Punch coming out which will probably be the equivalent of 300 in terms of success, Zach Snyder will initiate a Hollywood bandwagon for all that is steampunk.

2.) We're going to see a lot more Exorcist type movies

With The Rite comes out this month, we're going to see more devil in a child movies. The Last Exorcism's succes and Exorcismus, this is just the tip of the iceberg for devils vs priests.

3.) We're going to see less horror remakes

Just because Hollywood's already milked the shit out of every horror franchise

4.) Remember shaky cam shot on video cinema? We're going to get a film like that every month.

And it's going to be in 3D.

5.) Joss Whedon's Cabin in the Woods will be better than Kevin Smith's Red State

Two fan bases collide but somehow Whedon will prevail because his movie will be funnier.

6.) Zombies and Vampires will jump the shark....say hello to werewolves


With Teen Wolf coming to MTV, I smell more howling wolves coming to the big screen.

7.) There will be less Exploitation and Grindhouse throwback flicks

Sure I'm going to see Hobo with a Shotgun but we're going to see indie filmmakers turn their backs on these type of flicks.

8.) Gladiator movies will make a comeback

From Spartacus to Hercules to Conan, we're going to see more overgrown men with swords slicing and dicing.

9.) We will have 1 hyped up Japanese or Korean remake

I hope it comes from Takashi Miike or Chan Wook Park.

10.) The French will blow us away with a horror flick (which will probably end up #1 on my Top 10 List for 2011)

They've been quiet for a while. I think they're going to make a flying zombie film that's somehow intellectually stimulating.

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OK that's my list. What's yours? What are your predictions for 2011?

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20110107

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Top 10 Horror Movies of 2010 (#10-1)

Everybody has been posting their Top 10 Horror Movies of 2010. Sorry for taking so long to get this live but I had to catch up on some of the movies I missed this year. I usually look at other people's lists and watch the movies that others claimed were the best. If I didn't, I would have missed out on a few sleepers this year.

Like last year, I've extended this to 20 films. If you missed #20 to #11, clicky here. I had a different take on what was considered "the best" this year and my picks are totally abnormal from everybody else. I'm just quirky that way.

First some fun facts and sidenotes!

  • Though some of these movies came out in 2009, I label any movie that got wide releases or DVD releases in 2010 as coming out in 2010
  • It's a mix of indie horror and theatrical releases
  • Here are the movies I didn't see yet: Black Swan, Let Me In, Shutter Island, Paranormal Activity 2, After.Life and a few other indie horror films that ended up on some Top 10s
  • The 20 films broken down by country: USA = 12, Canada=2, UK=1, Finland =1, Australia=1, Serbia=1, Netherlands=1, Spain=1
  • The 20 films broken down by spinkick rating: 4 spinkicks=1, 3 spinkicks= 16, 2 1/2 spinkicks=3 (I did not give any horror movie 4 spinkicks this year)
  • Honorable Mentions: The Crazies, Daybreakers, Berdella, Dawning, etc.
  • To read the entire review of the film click on the title.
So what did 2010 offer us in the world of horror?
  • The horror mockumentary makes an appearance numerous times
  • Shaky cam/Shot on video flicks haven't jumped the shark yet
  • 3D Horror was everywhere and sucked in most cases
  • The Human Centipede was the most talked about hype movie that bordered on mainstreeminess
  • An unrated horror movie is too much for Hollywood theaters to handle
  • The number one movie on my list is again not from the USA
I take it some of picks will lead to WTF faces and "Your fuckin crazy". Isn't that the fun of these year end Top 10s? Let's get to the list! Here is #10 to #1.


10.) Triangle
(3 spinkicks)


Triangle delivers everything you want from a horror movie. Heightened Hitchcockian suspense, twizzler twists and turns and there is blood by the pint. For a movie created out of the UK/Australia that boasts a group of Aussies doing their best American accents, it delivers on everything you want in a horror thriller.

Your mind will trip out from the amount of WTF is in this film. So much head turning plot twists you may need to drink some Four Loko to get it all straight. It all comes full triangle and by the end you checking IMDB message boards and trivia to find out what's the what.

I love the intertwining concept of loopy time and a mad killer on the loose. And when a boat slasher film gets you to think and scan the internet, it's one of the best this year.


9.) Rec 2
(3 spinkicks)


I'm not a huge fan of shaky cam first person POV horror. So going into Rec 2, I knew the SWAT team was going to get involved, we were going to get some possessed zombie kills and I was gonna get nauseous again. Cue the Dramamine.

Rec 2 is a superior movie to the original. It's amped up the infected, brought in the heavy weaponry via SWAT officers and thrown in some crazy Spanish hipsters who get exactly what they deserve. What you end up with is a sequel that twists and turns you on every scene and makes you big gulp in complete darkness.

I gotta say, the Rec movies are the best this POV genre has to offer. They are solid flicks and use the POV gimmick very well. Rec 2 does jack up the scares, the claustrophobia and the tension. Out of all the the POV movies I've seen, Rec 2 is so far the best of the rest.


8.) Babysitter Wanted
(3 spinkicks)


Babysitter Wanted is everything The House of the Devil should have been. It's got the same premise as Ti West's film. College girl with lousy roommate gets a gig to babysit a couple's young little tyke in the middle of boonies USA. Suspense is drawn out as mysterious phone calls start ringing, she frantically searches for the kid and than the big reveal is well...revealed.

Babysitter Wanted is what I wanted from The House of the Devil. It takes that babysitter urban legend and squeezes every drop of horror onto the screen.

A very solid horror movie that actually lives up to what it was trying to do. All in all, Babysitter Wanted hits on all these notes and does it without including the 80s nostalgia.


7.) Piranha 3D
(3 spinkicks)


Piranha 3D is as cheesy and as yummy as advertised. As the only movie that's 3D on my list that says a helluva lot. 3D, tits, piranha and gore. What more did you want from a film Alex Aja?

Via Insano Steve's review.

Hey a 3D horror movie can be good after all. As long as it is good as a 2D movie first. Don't be fooled just by the 3D part. Although, something must be done about the pricing. $16.50 for a 3D movie makes these things hard to recommend.

But in the end, if you know what to expect here (a fun gore-filled teenage t&a slaughter fest), well then Piranha 3D delivers on that. Whether that means I'll go see Piranha 4D (or whatever they call the sequel), that remains to be seen, .....



6.) Dead Hooker in a Trunk
(3 spinkicks)


Dead Hooker in a Trunk is a modern day black comedy exploitation film of pulpy goodness. As the title suggests, shit hits the fan when our troupe of twin sisters, a Jesus freak and a junkie find a dead hooker in a trunk. It starts off a chain reaction of ass kicking, appendages being ripped apart, some sexual molesting and a bloody bloodbath.

The Soska Sisters first feature film is raw in that grindhouse way and has that Tarantino feel with a extra dose of indie grittiness. You'll laugh, you'll wince, you'll metal head bob your head due to the awesome soundtrack.

DHIAT is a mad mad bizzaro movie that has everything you would want. Hot kick ass girls, some ha ha's and LOLs and one killer soundtrack. I've got the Soska Sisters on my radar, it's time the rest of the world has them on theirs.

"What's not to love about junkies, bad asses, hot women and a dead hooker in a trunk?"

5.) Hatchet 2
(3 spinkicks)


Arguments aside Hatchet 2 deserved at least a decent theatrical run to prove old school American horror can survive theatrically. When all that floods US theaters are PG-13 3D CGI kills snoozefests, one can only wonder if the 80s inspired slasher films can survive in this climate. Obviously not.

But on the merit of a horror film, Hatchet 2 is a sequel that literally starts off where the last one ended. Everything about Hatchet 2 follows the sequel formula to a tee. It's been said before that Green's Hatchet is to Alien as Green's Hatchet 2 is to Aliens. Hunters abound in the sequel and all hell breaks loose. But we'll get to that in a sec.

Hatchet 2 is an unapologetic splatter slasher flick that says "Fuck You" to the other horror movies of 2010. It's the big bully in the room that taunts you, gives you wedgies, makes you feel sympathetic towards it then punches you in the face and takes your lunch money. Straight out, it's one of the best horror movies of 2010.

4.) The Last Exorcism
(3 spinkicks)


The Last Exorcism is one of the best horror movies of 2010 by far. Not because it had elements of Paranormal Activity or exorcism scares, but because somehow the mockumentary feels as real as real could be. Evangelism is clearly a scary thought in general, but when you you see how real the fakery can be and how people will believe in "the show", that's what's truly scary. The Last Exorcism amplifies this horror wise but the foundation is not without a chill to the bone factor as well.

The shot on video POV should have jumped the shark here but didn't. It reminded me of Lake Mungo, which is #3 on this list. When done well these fake docs somehow get the jumpy jumping. It's a smart mock and I liked the mockery of religion.

Sure it got a little cliched towards the end though it ended cleverly, it's a haunting feeling nevertheless.



3.) Lake Mungo
(3 1/2 spinkicks)


I must admit, Lake Mungo was not on my must-see radar when reviewing the After Dark Horrorfest movies. But this is the hidden gem beneath the proverbial sand of the eight films. I was exceptionally surprised at how great the movie was and amazed that it didn’t slowly evolve into a cheap Paranormal Activity gimmick.

The trailer and poster are very misleading and you may be convinced you’re seeing a midnight movie set to deliver jolts of jump scares.

Lake Mungo is your counterpoint to the jump scare ghost cinema verite type film. You will be so convinced by its authenticity, you may be calling a psychic to find out if it’s real or not. Or just head over to Wikipedia. Because if its on Wikipedia, it’s true.


2.) The Human Centipede
(3 spinkicks)


The most hyped up film of 2010 horror wise. The Human Centipede is pretty much a "I loved it" or "I hated it" type of film. It's reputation sealed itself when you hear the concept of what's being done and sure it doesn't go over the edge in execution, it clearly boggled the horrorsphere in every way imaginable.

The Human Centipede is a tornado of a film that challenges your visual senses and challenges your brain to compute what you're seeing. It's really something you've never seen before and that's the beauty of it. It takes about an hour to get the completion of this new Frankenstein like creation but its well worth it.

I fell on the I loved it side and though I wished it had gone further, seeing our mad scientist have his dreams come true was my dream come true as well.


1.) A Serbian Film
(3 spinkicks)


Many of you haven't yet seen A Serbian Film and somehow be thankful you haven't. But I have and when a movie scars you like this one did, it easily cements itself as the #1 horror film of 2010.

Was it a movie critiquing the Serbian government's brainwashing of ordinary citizens into committing atrocities during the war? Or is it a vile, disgusting piece of crap pretending to be art?

Honestly, I don't know. As I watched I tried to see if there was satire as we watch the de-evolution of our main character Milos. But viewing fucked up scene after fucked up scene, I was kind of shocked into a jaded submission of WTF. Something is being said about the Serbian's ravaged past but all that kept echoing was "NEWBORN PORN!"

That is one of the many fucked up things that happens in A Serbian Film.

Critics have either praised or been disgusted by the film and I now know why. Having heard of this film through the festival grapevine (and that it was being banned from film fests) I can honestly say it's a downright despicable film from the beginning and especially towards the end.

In the vain of Palumbo's Murder Set Pieces, Buttgereit's Nekromantik, Oldboy, August Underground and Hostel, the movie shocks and shocks until you vomit and then shocks some more. I of course have made it a point to see all the most fucked up movies and to be honest, yeah it's sickening but not as sickening as I thought it would be.

Could a commentary on Serbia's government and the lives of its citizens NOT be done in such a vile manor? Sure, but nobody would go see it. Only the art cinephiles would see a subtitled film portraying the atrocities of a small country in Eastern Europe.

So Srdjan Spasojevic and writer Aleksandar Radivojevic decided to go the exploitation/horror sub genre to make a point. Exploitation is now the new chic, the "It" genre, the rebooted sub genre that used to be the stepchild of the horror genre.

And that's why I think it's effective and the best horror film of 2010.

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I've seen your Top 10 list, now you've seen mine.

OK, I know you horror minions have your 2 cents. So go ahead and let me have it. Throw that smelly poop at me or if on the off chance you partially agreed on some of my picks, send me that love. Chime in and let me know what you think.

This list of the Top 20 Horror Movies of 2010 also is an opportunity to see the movies you may have missed that made many of the best of 2010 within the horror community. We all missed a few flicks here and there. I hope you all give all of these movies a chance and then come back and let me know what's the what.

The Jaded Viewer Related Linkage

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20101230

0

The WTF List: The Last Exorcism (Review)

I decided to go with a WTF List instead of a regular review because I know most horror fans have seen this movie already. I'll admit, the promotion for this flick had me scratching my head. I figured it was a Blair Witch meets The Exorcist ripoff. Sure it had Eli Roth's name attached to but I figured it could wait.

Well the wait is over.

The Last Exorcism is one of the best horror movies of 2010 by far. Not because it had elements of Paranormal Activity or exorcism scares, but because somehow the mockumentary feels as real as real could be. Evangelism is clearly a scary thought in general, but when you you see how real the fakery can be and how people will believe in "the show", that's what's truly scary. The Last Exorcism amplifies this horror wise but the foundation is not without a chill to the bone factor as well.

The shot on video POV should have jumped the shark here but didn't. It reminded me of Lake Mungo, which is on my top 10 list as well. When done well these fake docs somehow get the jumpy jumping. It's a smart mock and I liked the mockery of religion. Sure it got a little cliched towards the end though it ended cleverly, it's a haunting feeling nevertheless.

On to the list!

1.) Our scammy Reverend is clearly an anti Father Merrin.
2.) Religion is really magic and banana nut cake.
3.) Cotton is clearly a vampire slayer
4.) You may be part Sweetzer and not even know it.
5.) I'm 100% sure a crystal meth tweekers killed those animals...or Chupacabra
6.) Nell looks like she drank too much Four Loko
7.) All magic has fishline in some way or another
8.) The camera guy actually does a decent job of pointing the camera to where I WANT him to point the camera
9.) But he keeps doing damn reaction shots..STOP IT!
10.) I tell ya, any girl wearing Doc Martens becomes 10x more hotter

11.) Jump scare, BOO scare, dark scare, BOO scare
12.) Sorry I don't bend that way
13.) The lack of CGI is giving me a happy
14.) You don't wanna hear it, but I think America has an incest problem
15.) The film likes to play with your belief vs science struggle. If you're acting crazy, your freakin crazy. For 90% of the movie you feel she's just mental. And that 10% makes you think. Though 9% of me still think's she's looney.
16.) Nothing ever good comes out of a bonfire and people dressed in cloaks and funny hats
17.) I'm one of those people that gets dizzy when the POV goes into nauseous mode
18.) Poor Cotton. He should have called the Vatican 911.
19.) Well he'll never be ahead of a corporation
20.) They don't even try to go all found footage. Imagine this was on A&E or Bio and portrayed as real. 40% of Americans would BELIEVE THIS IS REAL. Seriously...right?

The Last Exorcism is so bumping another flick from my Top 10 list. Dammit. I now have like 3 cinema verite flicks on my top 10. Somehow this feels wrong. But you gotta give credit to where it's due. The Last Exorcism is scamtastic heavenly fun.


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