The Linsanity Of The Walking Dead

So I've gotten caught up with Linsanity, the rise of the New York Knicks Jeremy Lin from obscure "Rudy" to superstar savior. An Asian American playing NBA ball at the highest level is rare to say the least so it's pretty awesome to see him breakout and truly be a top notch baller.

But you know what else is rare?

Asians Americans on TV. Yup, look at any TV show and Asian Americans barely register. Sure they only make up 5% of the population but the representation is almost non existent unless they know kung fu. Stereotypes aside, I loved the fact Glenn's first appearance on The Walking Dead was not one of victim but savior. He saved Rick in Atlanta and showed he was a resourceful and was courageous kid in an apocalypse. I had high hopes that Glenn would grow to be a main character that was impactful in some way.

But slowly the stereotypes creeped in. He wasn't invited to the big missions, seemed to hang out with Dale alot, was used as bait, used as comic relief and was shy and awkward with the farmer's daughter. If he was written this way in the comic I do not know but as I watch The Walking Dead, I really hoped that we just underestimated him. That Glenn as a minor bench warmer was only temporary. I was hoping Glennsanity was just around the corner.

I mean there are some signs right?

He scored and saved the hot girl (got some!), killed a few walkers in spectacular fashion and discovered the barn. I think he could play an intricate part in the story. He's got the skills, the know how and the zombie IQ to kick ass and lead this team to victory (hmm I'm getting my Lin and Glenn's confused I think)

Glenn could actually make our Walking Dead outcasts better. He's unselfish (he went on the pharmacy run, the bait thing, searched for Sophia, etc.) As we get sick of the soap opera storylines, Glenn could probably add some much added pizazz and fun to the show. How much more Rick (he's like the Amare Stoudamire of the group), Shane (Yup, he's Melo) and Lori (D'Antoni) can we take?

I've already compared the Walking Dead to Lost but the others resemble other Knicks. Daryl is Shumpert, Andrea is Chandler, Dale is Jarred Jeffries. Well I could go on. Glenn is the kid every Walking Dead fanatic/nerd/geek roots for. He's the young kid who seems to be overlooked, never gets the chance to voice his opinion in major decisions but somehow scored the hottie. He's the guy we relate to. He cares more about the team (err I mean rag tag group of survivors) that he'd be willing to sacrifice having grunt relations with Maggie.

He's the underdog that has the potential to be awesome, to make the show better than it is now. This needs to happen. We deserve it.

We need Glennsanity.

The Walking Dead is Lost but with Zombies

Yeah I said it. The Walking Dead is Lost but with Zombies. Hmm, looks like you haven't been thinking the way I've been thinking. As a huge Lost fan, one can only think about the similarities between the two shows. It's pretty fuckin amazing how a zombie apocalypse and a crash landing on a mysterious island can be similar. Are you shaking your head? Well let's examine the characters of The Walking Dead and who they closely resemble on Lost.

THE OBVIOUS

1.) Rick is Jack

the jaded viewer says: Our cowboy messiah is our de facto leader of a rag tag group of survivors. He's thrust into this position and now has to make the tough decisions with a friend questioning his authority. He "woke up" into this hell on Earth and he has made already a few questionable decisions. Remind you of anyone?

2.) Shane is Locke

the jaded viewer says: Pretty obvious similarity here. Shane is now our chief antagonist who is willing to bend his morals in order to survive. He has fully understood the world he now lives in and has adapted. Locke started recruiting a group of his own and Shane has Andrea on his side. Locke never slept with Kate but you get my point.

3.) Lori is Kate

the jaded viewer says: The Walking Whore as she is now known is totally your Kate. She's hot, she's behind the scenes, she's kinda messed around and she has a BIG FUCKIN SECRET. Actually 2 in fact. She's trying to play both sides (making nice with Shane because of what he did for Carl...well sorta) but remains loyal to Rick.

Kinda Close

4.) Daryl is Sawyer

the jaded viewer says: Rednecks unite! Daryl, our resident bad ass hick has shown us uber toughness and a shielded tender side. He's hated by everybody but somehow has slowly become endeared by Carol. Sawyer too started off as the most hated man on the island but eventually became the lovable awesome guy with a sense of humor.

5.) Andrea is Sayid

the jaded viewer says: We're slowly seeing Andrea evolve into a sharpshooter and her tag team with Shane closely draws parallels with Locke and Sayid. They both have a similar agenda and clearly are on the outside of the group looking in.

6.) Glenn is Hurley

the jaded viewer says: This is an easy one. Your comic relief character is a bit socially awkward, scores with the hot girl but somehow is the most reliable survivor. Glenn is the guy who can get things and Hurley is the guy who can eat things. See?

Kind of a stretch...but!

7.) Dale is Claire

the jaded viewer says: Dale is our reliable old fuddy duddy. The confidante, the keeper of the pulse of the group. He kept Andrea alive and got T-Dog medical attention. He's the mechanic. Hmm not sure how Claire is like Dale. But I get the feeling Dale like Claire has a big secret that may change the group dynamic.

8.) Karl is Walt

the jaded viewer says: They're both kids. I'm hoping they're both "special" and have magical powers.

9.) T-Dog is Michael

the jaded viewer says: You're probably saying "C'mon, why you gotta be racist for?" Is it because they're both black? Well I'm not sure which Lost character T-Dog resembles as of yet. He did mention to Dale they thought they were "weak" part of the group. Michael had always thought that to....kinda. This comparison is more of a prediction. We'll see as we go along.

10.) Carol/Sophia are Jin/Sun

the jaded viewer says: Sometimes you just gotta take the mediocre characters and lump them up together. Did Jin disappear from Sun for a long period of time? You betcha. Where the fuck is Sophia? She must have walked to fuckin Washington DC by now.

11.) Hershel/Maggie/Carol/etc are The Others

the jaded viewer says: Hershel just pulled a Ben Linus didn't he??? Who knows what else is on that farm.

12.) Zombies are The Island

the jaded viewer says: This is also pretty obvious but the zombie wasteland is The Island with all it's dangers, craziness, quirkiness and unknowns. What else will they encounter as they travel along the zombie states of America. We've already gotten flashbacks of the nuclear holocaust of Atlanta. Will we get flash forwards?

*********************************************

It's not definitive yet but I would bet a dollar we may get some parallel storylines and a few more twists and turns that might be Lost like. I've been digging The Walking Dead and I hope they keep it fresh and dig deep into the characters as that is the ultimate driving force of any good show.

As long as we don't see all the characters in a church in the series finale, I think we're good.

C'mon Glenn. Get your freak on.

What is the worst apocalypse for humanity? (The Results)

A few months back I posted my Top 10 Worst Apocalypses. My #1 choice of the most horrible apocalypse to inflict humanity was a zombie armageddon. It looks like you all agreed as out of 199 votes, a zombie apocalypse won convincingly with 25% of the vote. Coming in second was Virus (16%) and Nuclear at (14%).

From the looks of it nobody is scared of vampires (cuz they twinkle?) and robots. I was sure robots would be a little higher as I got them at #4 on my list. And nobody is really scared of alien slavemasters either.

I got some interesting comments as well you can check out here. If we run out of oil, you'll be begging for some zombies instead.

Thanks to everybody who voted. New poll will be coming soon!

Boring Bikini Samurai Assassin Girl = OneChanbara (Review)

OneChanbara

OneChanbara (2008)

Directed by Yôhei Fukuda

I didn't really expect a good movie as I popped OneChanbara into my DVD player but I mean the cover has a girl with samurai swords, a cowboy hat and she's wearing a bikini. Least this could have been was Japanese Skinemax.

But it turns out OneChanbara, which is based on a PS2/Xbox game wasn't a Versus like zombie movie or Japanese hentai. It turned out to be some low end, cash in video game movie that was probably directed by the Japanese Uwe Boll.

Egads.

So who is this girl on the cover? Her name is Aya, some mystical assassin with kick ass sword skills that by pressing "X" alot with "square" enables her to slaughter the attacking zombie hordes. She's got a fat fuck Japanese guy with her that plays as comic relief and Reiko, a shot gun toting zombie renegade.

Mission wise, they go from setting to setting killing zombies until they reach Dr. Sugita and his protege Saki (who is Aya's sister). Various hadoukens later, she kills her sister and they ride into the zombie filled sunset.

Yawn.

The girl on the cover was mute for most of the movie and oddly wasn't hot as I thought she was gonna be. Also, you've got your standard Sailor Moon schoolgirl outfits, zombies who use weapons and various goofy CGI.

I haven't seen a good Japanese zombie in a while and had low expectations for this but I'm eager to get our next good Japanese zombie movie. You listening Japan? Get to it.

Rating:

1/2 a

Here's the trailer.





Wow these video game trailers have more skin than the movie....





Here's more video game footage....