El monstro del mar! (Review)

El monstro del mar!

El monstro del mar! (2012)

Directed by Stuart Simpson

Did you ever want to see the Suicide Girls take on a sea monster?

Well Australia has got you covered. Because in Stuart Simpson's El monstro del mar (translated to Monster of the Sea) you'll just see that. And that's pretty much it.

Monstro goes into the way back time machine to give us a throwback to B-movie monsterpalooza where a quiet seaside town goes under attack by 3 hot Aussie vixen pussycat kill kill killers as they battle a tentacle rape octupi.

The movie starts off as From Dusk til Dawn style as our 3 tatted up, goth femme fatales lay a Venus fly trap for some man fodder. They party hard, booze it up and sniff those lines. They meet a young girl (another Aussie hottie) and her grandfather but secrets lay deep in this beach town. Soon locals are slaughtered and much blood is lost.

The CGI monster is slightly above your SyFy original movie but the buckets of blood and gore is unrelenting. Kudos to Simpson and his team for going all out. But hell the tentacles are pure laughable as are the death scenes. It's definitely intentionally "bad", with ridiculous carnage of serpent arms vs man.

But do I buy into the "it's so bad, it's good" formula? Well too a point I do. I'm all for seeing our 3 whores from hell Beretta, Blondie and the hottest of all Snowball go swimming and acting badass but without a real story or any interesting scenes of fun, it also becomes outright boring. It's fairly predictable and generic as they come.

If you want to see Aussie Suicide girls battle sea monsters, this will be your favorite movie. I liked the eye candy and the fairly cheesy monster mash gore. But clearly it's the same as watching a Skinemax action movie. Pick your poison.

Rating:
1/2

Check out the trailer.

The Shortround: Suicide Girl and Fewdio Shorts

The one thing that I've been not familiar with is the world of web horror and horror shorts. I've been trying to correct this with my ongoing The Shortround series where I put up shorts or web series that I think are pretty cool.

So after stumbling on a short by Drew Daywalt called Suicide Girl via Horrorland, I must say I was impressed. Once you see something you like, you start Fox Mulder-ing the investigation to see what else you can find. Thus, my extensive viewing of FEWDIO.com shorts on their YouTube Channel.

Color me floored. This is some good shit.

I am ecstatic that I found these videos and these are some of the best high quality, top notch horror shorts I've ever seen. All the shorts are masterfully produced, feature solid acting, eerie soundtrack and music, expert camera work and deliver the BOO! scares you won't forget.

First, go watch what caught my eye and you can be my Dana Scully and believe the hype I've been throwing at you.

Check out the Drew Daywalt's short called "Suicide Girl"

the jaded viewer says: For a 4 minute short, it packs a creepy punch right out of the park. Internet horror is usually hit or miss but this little short blends social tech with Ringu style madness. One of the best shorts I've seen.

Here are a few more shorts I think are standouts from the mass filmography of Fewdio Entertainment. Some of them are long slow burns that BOO! you, others are a minute or so of Twilight Zone twisty twizzler horror goodness.


I'm never closing my eyes.....again



The worst job in the world....



Mommy?



Love that spin cycle...




So many other good shorts, check all of them out at Fewdio's YouTube Channel.