El monstro del mar!
El monstro del mar! (2012)
Directed by Stuart Simpson
Did you ever want to see the Suicide Girls take on a sea monster?
Well Australia has got you covered. Because in Stuart Simpson's El monstro del mar (translated to Monster of the Sea) you'll just see that. And that's pretty much it.
Monstro goes into the way back time machine to give us a throwback to B-movie monsterpalooza where a quiet seaside town goes under attack by 3 hot Aussie vixen pussycat kill kill killers as they battle a tentacle rape octupi.
The movie starts off as From Dusk til Dawn style as our 3 tatted up, goth femme fatales lay a Venus fly trap for some man fodder. They party hard, booze it up and sniff those lines. They meet a young girl (another Aussie hottie) and her grandfather but secrets lay deep in this beach town. Soon locals are slaughtered and much blood is lost.
The CGI monster is slightly above your SyFy original movie but the buckets of blood and gore is unrelenting. Kudos to Simpson and his team for going all out. But hell the tentacles are pure laughable as are the death scenes. It's definitely intentionally "bad", with ridiculous carnage of serpent arms vs man.
But do I buy into the "it's so bad, it's good" formula? Well too a point I do. I'm all for seeing our 3 whores from hell Beretta, Blondie and the hottest of all Snowball go swimming and acting badass but without a real story or any interesting scenes of fun, it also becomes outright boring. It's fairly predictable and generic as they come.
If you want to see Aussie Suicide girls battle sea monsters, this will be your favorite movie. I liked the eye candy and the fairly cheesy monster mash gore. But clearly it's the same as watching a Skinemax action movie. Pick your poison.
Rating:
Check out the trailer.
20120309
El monstro del mar! (Review)
20120209
How Do You Write A Joe Scherman Song? (Trailer)
I've been seeing a lot of promos and posters all over NYC for NBC's new show Smash. I'll admit, this is not my sort of bag, but when jaded viewer friend Christina Rose dropped me a line informed me that Gary King's indie musical How Do You Write A Joe Scherman Song? is soon to be released I had to take a quick glance at the trailer (which is below).
Here be the plot:
Joe (Joe Schermann) dreams of hitting it big on Broadway. After landing an opportunity to write for an Off-Broadway musical, he is forced to cast either the love of his life Evey (Christina Rose) or his newly discovered muse Summer (Debbie Williams). The realities of show business prove to Joe that writing is easy, living is hard.
Christina is a brilliant actress (she was brilliant in Death of the Dead (see review here and interview here) and I'm sure she's going to show off all her talents: her beauty, singing and acting in this little slice of NYC indie film.
Here's more info via the Press Release:
HOW DO YOU WRITE A JOE SCHERMANN SONG is an original feature film musical written and directed by Gary King; music and lyrics by Joe Schermann; and original score by Ken Lampl. It stars the singer/songwriter of the same name Joe Schermann, Christina Rose (of Broadway's GREASE, Deadheads, & previously worked with King on "Death of the Dead"), Mark DiConzo ("New York Lately"), Debbie Williams, Jenn Dees ("What's Up Lovely") and Darly Ray Carliles (Jaradoa Theater). The incredible dance sequences in the film were choreographed by Mark DiConzo and Christina Rose. The indie film was funded primarily through crowdfunding (Kickstarter) which has led to a global fan base long before the film's release. Marcus Wolf and Edward A. Bishop of Flicker Dreams Productions served as executive producers.
Film festival screening announcements coming soon.
Check out the trailer.
HOW DO YOU WRITE A JOE SCHERMANN SONG - Official Trailer from Gary King on Vimeo.
20120123
Kill List (Review)
Kill List
Kill List (2012)
Directed by Ben Wheatley
On the surface, Kill List looks to be your standard five and dime crime thriller. Underworld goons doing their trade eliminating threats for $$. But as I thought about the film after watching it, you start seeing the layers underneath Kill List that enable you to see a movie that has more than meets the eye.
Kill List is a film that slowly burns you into a look into the life of a retired hit man and scopes out a world where his past, his present and his future all collide into an orgy of madness. It's an interesting journey seeing a drama, gore soaked slaughter and a Wicker Man-ish horror flick all blended into one. Sure there is a twist at the end and numerous unanswered questions which make you go WTF but it stills hit you harder than a hail of bullets.
What you'll get from Kill List is a character study of a soldier turned assassin who elects to try to live as a normal but it seems PTSD and pure conditioning to kill are not as easy to shut down when you get home. There is pure hell to pay for the sins of your past and it seems mysterious forces want have molded our hit man's world into their own.
Kill List is a solid flick that may seem like Pulp Fiction without the glitz and glamour. And for that it gets high marks for showing me a touch of all the genres I love from the UK.
Boring Plot-O-Matic
Eight months after a disastrous job in Kiev left him physically and mentally scarred, ex-soldier turned contract killer, Jay, is pressured by his partner, Gal, into taking a new assignment. As they descend into the dark and disturbing world of the contract, Jay begins to unravel once again - his fear and paranoia sending him deep into the heart of darkness.
Awesome Review-O-Matic
I'm going to break this down via Earth layers. Seems easier that way as far as I'm concerned.
The Crust
Kill List starts off as we see Jay and his Swedish wife Shel arguing about money. It seems Jay is a retired ex soldier with tours of Iraq who came back and went all crime underworld . We meet his friend and partner Gal and during a dinner party they talk about their lives, a past botched job and the life they now lead.
Clearly Wheatley uses this first Act to make us care for Jay and Gal and their alpha male shenanigans. Jay and Shel have a son and we see his fatherly side as well as Mr. Husband. Both Jay (Neil Maskell) and Shel (MyAnna Buring) have an uneasy relationship and you can see the scars Jay has been dealing with bubbling up. He's angry and all his instincts have have been dulled by being in this normal life.
Both Maskell and Buring give off good chemistry as a husband and wife who know they have had issues as they both transition to normals (Shel knows Jay is a hit man which is unique). Michael Smiley as Gal is still struggling to go normal but it seems as we move on the the list, we'll see who still has the instincts to do the job.
The Mantle
As both Jay and Gal fulfill their assignments, Jay slowly descents into what he was in the past. Before they embark on the kill, they stake out their victims finding in their now grey moral world reasons to take them out. The kills involving a Priest (highlighted in big white text), a Librarian are dastardly brutal. They slowly start out as professionals but it seems as Jay's scars get reopened (allegor-ized by a inflicted slice on his hand) he's going towards the deep end.
It begs the question can a soldier or even a hit man just turn off "their switch" when they retire? Is it just that easy to do? Kill List says no and I agree. Jay who seemed to be a brutal killer back in the day is as vicious when he gets a taste for it again. Each of the victims on "the list" are moral embodiments to stop him from going back to his killing ways. A priest representing morality, a librarian representing logic and a government official representing the law. Jay ignores all of this and slaughters them all.
The Core
The final scenes with the final kill go into weird Wicker Man territory. Everybody seems to have been played and characters who looked idle appear to be more sinister. A action sequence through a tunnel is mesmerzingly claustrophobic and vicious. These last scenes are very peculiar whipping in survival horror with bizarre rituals. It' s possibly fitting Jay confronts organized chaos as his final test. Having been now conditioned into a cold blooded killer/soldier, his instincts kick in and he becomes the embodiment of a savage.
Could we have gotten a better explanation of the "game" being played? Final answers on why characters actions became oddly weird? Sure but Whealtey seems to want us to fill in the holes which is fine with me.
Kill List gets a barely 3 spinkicks from me for taking me on a long journey of how easily a man can be stripped of his normal suit and launched into a naked and vicious savage. That's what you should take away from Kill List.
Nude-ipedia
Nada
Gore-ipedia
Hammer to the head trauma
Gunshots to the head
Torture trauma
Sliced bowel trauma
WTF moment
The twist ending
The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis
Kill List is available on VOD and on Amazon Instant Video. It comes out in theaters on February 3rd.
Rating:
Check out the trailer.
20120111
The Best Elephants, DIY Indies and OMG! Movies of 2011
Before I post my top 10 horror movies (yes it's coming soon), I wanted to go over the other movies (yes I saw other non horror flicks) that I thought were super duper awesome this year. From the box office Hollywood juggernauts to the indie spectaculars, these stood out like no other (plus there the only ones I saw). There are also a few films you may have missed that will completely blow you away.
"Box Office Elephants"
1.) Rise of the Planet of the Apes: Best sci-fi/action flick of the year. Serkin made me care about ape-kind.
2.) Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2: I'm a big Potter fan (shhhh) so I liked how it all ended.
3.) The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: Rooney Mara gets all naked/grunty/scary in this remake of the Swedish bestseller. She drives a typical crime mystery into awesomeness.
"DIY Indie Spectaculars"
1.) Super: Not as good as Kick-Ass but fun nevertheless. Wilson and Page made an awesome crazy dynamic duo as normals become superheroes.
2.) Kaboom: Gregg Araki makes a comeback with a WTF film that will make you sexual uncomfortable as it will make you scratch your head...and your balls.
3.) Waldo the Dog: Best indie screener I received this year. Waldo the Dog will be unlike any other film you have ever seen. It's the equivalent of seeing a fancy car get wrecked, miraculously repaired and then totally wrecked again. As much as you'd like to look away you can't. It's just so mesmerizing to watch.
4.) A Foundling: A Foundling breaks the handcuffs of the conventional indie film. It's a serial Western with a twist and though follows such a simple story of 2 sisters reunited, it's even smart enough to comment on the world around them.
"The OMGs"
1.) Ninja Kids!!!: One of the best films of 2011 from Takashi Miike. Ninja Kids is like Spy Kids on acid. Think Harry Potter but with over the top ninjas and slapstick comedy. It's a cute Japanese family film with a Miike insanity mixed in. And it works from start to finish. It's super duper funny, has some dog poop humor and a ton of CGI madness that only Miike could think up. Based on a long running Japanese TV show called Rantaro the Ninja Boy, it's filled with humor that's international in the LOLs. It's got visual wackiness, self aware parodies and villains that are basically clowns with swords and ninja stars.
What you get is a family comedy that leaves you feeling freakin awesome after you leave the theater. Ninja Kids is heartwarming Japanese wackiness, the Miike way.
2.) BKO: Bangkok Knockout: BKO: Bangkok Knockout which is without a doubt, the best action movie of 2011. BKO is an orgy and ballet of violence set to a soundtrack. You won't know the names of the characters or care if the bad guys get their comeuppance. Seriously, it's not important.
As long as you were mesmerized by the punches, kicks, double kicks, double punches and the synchronized attacks, BKO has done it's job.
20120104
Rage (Review)
Rage (2011)
Directed by Christopher Witherspoon
Who knew 40 years ago, a TV movie by an unknown director named Steven Spielberg would still be influencing filmmakers today? With Duel, Spielberg made a statement about man's isolation against a force of nature or something like that.
That's where Rage draws it's inspiration from and because of this influence, director/producer/editor Chris Witherspoon even drew up a scene commenting on what the metaphor might be. One can make up comparisons but I'm pretty sure Generation Y and Z have never seen Duel. So Rage becomes it's own malevolent little indie that takes cat vs mouse to a whole new level. What Witherspoon has created is a tense, suspenseful and amped movie about a ordinary Oregonian with his share of secrets and thrown him into a deadly game vs a masked villain whose motivations are also hidden in secrecy.
Rage plays with it's audience so well, I even got duped by its overall simplicity (I'll explain in a bit). It's a mix of Hitchcockian slickness, Twilight Zone twistiness and Spielberg terror magic. Sure it's hindered by its low budget and some odd flashback placement but overall it's an entertaining movie that plays out like a long riddle of emotion.
Rage tricked me big time and it's why it was so much fun.
Boring Plot-O-Matic
A thirty something man who lives in a suburb just outside of Portland says goodbye to his beautiful and loving wife and heads into town. There he unintentionally provokes the wrath of a mysterious motorcyclist. The confrontation between the two, sets in motion a day long battle. Beginning in the form of harmless taunts then quickly escalating into something more serious and then into something unimaginable.
Awesome Review-O-Matic
So we get to hang out with Dennis Twist (Rick Crawford), a 30 something writer from Portland, OR who with his wife Crystal (Audrey Walker) live the American suburban life. But all is not well with the Dennis. He has a few secrets and on his day off, we're going to see all of them. As he drives off in his SUV we see him get into a scuffle with a black helmeted motorcyclist over a parking spot. Dismissed, he meets with his mistress who he breaks off an affair and also meets with a friend where they discuss his failed writing career.
Soon the stalking of Dennis begins and the motorcyclist is appearing at every angle. He is taunted at a red light, then his car gets keyed is only the beginning. Later his breaks are cut and a random beatdown at a bathroom get it all into the bit of ultra violence. Dennis plays mouse and our Darth Vader mute (he doesn't speak throughout the film) are gaming it up for all of us to see. It's not until Dennis gets home does all shit hit the fan. Uber gorehounds with rejoice in the splatterific scenes involving chainsaws, stab-o-palooza and an uncomfortable rape-ture. The end of Rage is pure madness and one final twist breaking down what the fuck just happened is the WTF of the entire movie.
Let me get what irked me out of the way. There is a bit of bad acting by all (Dennis's neighbors are cardboardy) and Rick Crawford who plays Dennis goes in and out of his Irish accent on more than one occasion. During highly emotional scenes, none of our actors can emote above a 5. But overall Crawford plays a mousey mouse well and shows a man littered with guilt and believes karma is out to get him.
Witherspoon also added a few B/W tinted flashbacks of scenes that only happened 5 minutes before. I have no idea why these were added. I'm pretty certain I was following along and didn't need a reminder. There were also a few odd camera angles that had me scratching my head ( a lunch scene in particular was a bit odd)
But these can be forgiven because Witherspoon for an indie does a nice job of getting SUV vs motorcycle shots all over Portland. Solid camera work for on the location shooting and I was impressed. It's a testament to Witherspoon's ability to make low level speeding into car chasing awesome.
Rage is clearly a guessing game. Witherspoon plays with the audience tossing in clues and red herrings to get us emotionally vested as well as riddling all of us. His mistress ex BF might be the man under the helmet but we savvy vets are ultimately going with the Twilight Zone route and expect somebody else. Everybody wants to know who this road rager is and why he might be doing it but it's not until the end do we get a clear explanation. At first, I thought I had been gypped, that all that had occurred was too far fetched for our stalker to go through to exact revenge.
But I remembered a scene Witherspoon inserted mid way in where cordial social parking protocol was followed and realized what I was watching. The movie wants you to believe our psychopathic biker is the embodiment of karma, what goes around comes around. Our man Dennis has to pay for his transgressions, for all the evil that he has done to his wife and to others. It's a brilliant play on the audience's preconceived notions of what we SHOULD expect. But the world is a much simpler place. People get angry for the stupidest and dumbest reasons and real ultra violence happens for far less. I mean people got beatdown for retro Air Jordans, wedding dresses and an Xbox during Black Friday madness.
All the clues lead to Rage. It's the damn title in the movie and the clues are littered throughout peaking at that scene I mentioned earlier. Witherspoon's Rage is so creatively smart that even the best cinema-phile might have been duped. It's one of the best movies I saw in 2011 and I'm going to keep my eyes on Witherspoon (he played the biker BTW). In a few years, we might be calling it Witherspoon terror magic instead.
Nude-ipedia
Nada
Gore-ipedia
Chainsaw trauma
Stabby stab stab stab
WTF moment
The reveal at the end
The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis
I get a lot of indie screeners sent to me and I toss them into a pile and figure I'll get to them eventually. But the horror blogosphere is getting this little indie the buzz it deserves and I decided to watch it based on the hype.
Rage has no release date but it has won tons of awards. Rage won top honors at the 2011 Horror Quest Film Festival in Atlanta, Georgia. Rage screened in festivals across America and all over the world including the Oldenburg International Film Festival in Oldenburg, Germany and the Cryptshow Film Festival in Barcelona, Spain.
Hopefully Witherspoon gets a distributor so the horror universe can see this awesome bad boy.
The Vitals
Check out the trailer.
20120102
Attack the Block (Review)
Attack the Block
Attack the Block (2011)
Directed by Joe Cornish
The first thing I noticed about Attack the Block is the dialogue. British ghetto younglings have a speech all their own and it's really mesmerizing to hear. Lots of "Get me?" and "love" and "Believe!". At times, I had no idea what the fuck they were saying. But that's the fascination right?
I know all the supposed "bad" neighborhoods in NYC. But I've been getting the feeling I should never set foot in Brixton in south London if I ever visit. Get these kids in a movie theater and shit gets loud (oh no he didn't go there!) Lots of ghetto kids go see a horror flick and will yell shit at the screen saying if faced in the same situation with the killah they'd "fuck that suckah up!" (they're words I cleaned up a bit) The beauty of Attack the Block is now we get to see these same tough thugs battle hairy, glowy teeth but blind alien monsters and see if they're all just talk.
Attack the Block is a mix of a thugged up Goonies meets Gremlins and it's all freakin awesome. Blending a mix of comedy, monster mayhem, action-palooza and some class warfare "MESSAGE!!" it's a slice of fun fun fun. The unlikely criminal tykes we bloody fuckin hate somehow grow up, learn a lesson and gain respect the hard way. Throw in some neato sci-fi monsters, a few splatter and gore and quick witted pop culture references rapid firing at a mile a minute and it's all the fun you'll have in 90 minutes.
Quick rehashed plot revolves around a thug of youths led by Moses who mug Sam a girl who lives in the projects (is that what they call em in London?). Soon our ragtag group of misfits (3 blacks, 1 white boy, Sam, pot smoker Brewis) are running and dodging these reject monsters from Star Wars. Aided by Nick Frost and also on the run from a kingpin drug dealer, the block is all in chaos in this one night.
The action scenes are well executed. The kids have bikes, scooters to aid in their escapes and they've got the weapons and use em. Samurai swords, knives and fireworks (the dangerous kind) all come into play and shit gets real fast for them. But these same kids, supposedly tough as nails get scared too. It's this balance in characters that makes them feel human and empathetic. The fact they know the choices they make have consequences is a theme throughout. Lots of good suspense and wicked kills are littered throughout ATB and director Joe Cornish paces it nicely.
He also puts in great scenes of funny jampacked with British references. They call the monsters gollums (LOTR) and Dobbies (HP) and it breaks the tension to have them be all kids in such an adult situation. Any reference to video games will give me a chuckle.
Sure it's a bit silly at times and the monsters aren't very memorable as they should be, but it's forgivable. Clearly we get racial overtones and "the feds" are willing to go all Rodney King on any black youth we see. I mean after seeing the shit that went down during the London riots (that video of the foreign exchange kid getting jumped comes to mind) you really want to hate these brothas from south London in real life and in this movie. But it's all about the choices they make and here they make the right ones.
Attack the Block is a sci-fi kid adventure and twisting the protagonists around makes it worthwhile. You'll rarely see a film that takes the outrageous cheesiness of furry alien monsters and blend it in with thug life. It's a one of a kind movie, one with charm and scares.
Believe.
Rating:
Check out the trailer.
20111223
The Innkeepers (Review)
The Innkeepers
The Innkeepers (2011)
Directed by Ti West
There is a king of the slow burn horror movie and his name is Ti West. West, who's filmography includes The Roost, Cabin Fever 2 and The House of Devil has made a name for himself in the methodically paced horror movie. I was not a fan of this in The House of the Devil writing:
"However, at the end of the day the movie is a wicked slow slow slow burn. It takes so long to get to the nitty gritty that no Red Bulls were helping to keep me awake."
However, in The Innkeepers the slow burn has hills and valleys and surprisingly has humor in it filled with cleverisms and pop culturisms that rescue it from being engulfed in eternal boredom. It dabbles in LOLs while fine tuning a ghost story as it's central premise. What you get is a fun, mish mash of amateur ghost hunter hipsters making contact with the ethereal plain which slowly evolves The Innkeepers into a non laughing matter.
The Innkeepers is smart enough to know it's audience and by doing so gives us an old fashioned spooky throwback ghost story that balances the line between being cute and scary. The characters are drones, the guests are odd and the ghosts are cliched visual jump scares. With all the said, I still had a few problems with West's lack of a firepower ending and his overabundance to drag the movie into zzzzzzzzzzz territory but some things can be overlooked when I'm having fun.
But I'm all for the nostalgia for my vintage Poltergeists for the new millennium. The Innkeepers could be Generation X's's answer to that 80s classic.
Boring Plot-O-Matic
After over one hundred years of service, The Yankee Pedlar Inn is shutting its doors for good. The last remaining employees - Claire (Sara Paxton) and Luke (Pat Healy)- are determined to uncover proof of what many believe to be one of New England's most haunted hotels. As the Inn’s final days draw near, odd guests check in as the pair of minimum wage “ghost hunters” begin to experience strange and alarming events that may ultimately cause them to be mere footnotes in the hotel’s long unexplained history.
Awesome Review-O-Matic
When you do a supernatural horror movie, you can possibly go one of two ways. You can go all LOLs or you could go deadly serious. It seems Ti West elected to do both. In The Innkeepers, Claire (Sara Paxton) and Luke (Pat Healy) are hotel worker drones who man the Yankee Pedlar Inn (in CT) for one last weekend before it goes out of business. There is a history of dread, as the hotel has a legend of Madeline O'Malley, whose death in a cellar has caused her to haunt this now defunct hotel.
The movie revolves around the dynamic of our hipster duo. Luke documents the history of his paranormal workplace on a website while Claire is in awe of a famous old timey actress (who she adores) that has checked into the hotel. Both are realistic drones who burn their boredom away with clever dialogue, actual job duties, beer and a search for scientific proof of the supernatural.
Staying at the hotel 24/7, they take shifts but at night, Claire goes all Fox Mulder and starts hearing the creeks and squeaks of something not right. It's here West goes all slow burn, hovering above Claire as she searches the remnants of a hotel (sometimes in full daylight) other times in the dead of night. Sara Paxton has a mesmerizing quality that made me buy into her performance. Claire is an asthmatic, everyday girl whose ambition has slowly died away. Paxton's performance is quirky stellar, similar to that of the cutout of a "hot gamer girl" but in this case "hot ghost hunter girl".
But West wants to make sure that you get just enough haha's before he unleashes his House of the Devil style slow burn jump scares. And don't worry you get some eerie buildup of falsehoods and glimpses of either hallucinations, dreams or actual paranormal phenomenon. The fact that it's vague is part of the charm all the way to the end. It's almost a perfect film in how the atmosphere gets built up (a lost art in my opinion) and a perfect blueprint feature resembling those viral Internet videos with the "actual ghost footage" that leads to a growly scream of a "ghost" that usually scares the shit out of you.
My gripes, though few, are the things I originally said about House/Devil. I appreciate the false alarms but they take fuckin a Lord of the Rings trilogy to get there. Other characters such as Leanne Rease-Jones (played by Kelly McGillis) is the equivalent of the guy who always knows about the legend. Leanne plays a healer/medium who senses danger but elects to stay at the creepy hotel anyway. A few more guests make appearances but none add to the overall film.
Finally, I still don't think Ti West knows how to end a film. With such buildup, one demands an ending which can hold up the entire movie. Instead, West goes all conventional and I was a bit disappointed. I'm not looking for some M. Night Shalatwisters, but it still felt a little flat.
But as I said before The Innkeepers is damn fuckin smart. Characters react as I thought I would react, they get nervous, stammer and crack jokes like I would. Call me a horror hipster too. I'm not ashamed. The Innkeepers is a Generation X ode to the horror ghost story that younglings will like but keep us hardcore aged horror fanatics on our toes. I love my nostalgia not remade but repackaged in original creative tales. Ti West has finally made a movie I liked, nay loved. That's a first.
The slow burn horror king has built a kingdom with a unique style, flair and has a treasure room of all those very familiar cliches. Sometimes royalty shares the wealth with the people and Ti West does just that. Hopefully the 99% will see The Innkeepers for the gem that it is.
Nude-ipedia
Sara Paxton shows some leg (she's so damn cute!)
WTF moment
The first encounter with Madeline O'Malley
The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis
The Innkeepers will premiere on Video in Demand on December 30th, 2011. It'll be in theaters on February 3rd, 2012 courtesy of Magnet Releasing. The film is in conjunction with Dark Sky Films and Larry Fessenden's Glass Eye Pix.
The Innkeepers is definitely going to find a place on my Top 10 of 2011 list. If you're looking for a quality old fashioned spookster, this is the perfect film.
The Vitals
Rating:
20111215
My Name is A by Anonymous (Review)
My Name is A By Anonymous
My Name is A By Anonymous (2011)
Directed by Boneshin (aka Shane Ryan)
Anonymous aka Boneshin is clearly not that anonymous. My Name is A is directed by Shane Ryan, who clearly is a fringe filmmaker who's helmed the infamous Amateur Pornstar Killer series as well as Warning!!!! Pedophile Released. Having not seen the latter which I hear is actually pretty good, I'm left to judge his merit on APK and this film.
My Name is A (formerly a short called The Columbine Effect) is clearly in that genre of fictional recreations where a real life tragedy is turned into a film but shaded with arthouse flair. The film is a recreation of the life and times of alleged murderer Alyssa Bustamante who at the age of 15 killed Elizabeth Olten, who was only 9 years old. I had not heard of this crime and it's clearly something TruTV would focus on. Oh wait they did.
The film plays out the real as real life. You can read the entire notorious murder by heading here. We meet Alyssa, a gothy teen, who paints her face Joker style and has a taste of the killing. She's accompanied by "the sidekick" who follows her orders to a tee. In parallel we also meet "the performer" who is trying to find her direction in voice and art. Finally, we meet "the angst" who's abuse from her stepfather has her vomiting into jars.
Told in a shaky cam 3rd person blended with Flip/phone cams, it's got a docu-teen feel to it. Everything is overlayed with a music video quality and the dialogue is pure vulgar spewage. But whatever Ryan was trying to do here is lost on me. Movies like The Zero Effect and Van Sant's Elephant that recreated Columbine did so by not judging the killers, only following them on that day's events. After such a tragedy, nobody ever has a clear understanding why.
In My Name is A, Ryan clearly wants us to see Alyssa's madness manifest themselves in visual characters of performer, angst, sidekick, etc. Why did she kill this little girl? Was it the culmination of sexual abuse with teenage angst, being a rebel and trying to be "famous"? Clearly, we are led to believe this is the case. Why is never important when creating a fictional version of a real life tragedy. One has to judge on it with uncertainty...it's the only thing that's certain when it comes to motive.
The film itself is a miragy mix of Harmony Korine's early stuff and it's just plain boring. Add in the visual nausea and the meanderings of dialogue (and bad acting) it's a milkshake of nonsense. Every scene seems picked from the true story such as the Joker makeup, the kid brother, the electric fence playground and the actual way the victim dies. Even her look (see the link above) is mimicked in unison. However, I didn't see a what felt like 10 minute music video dream sequence coming. No idea what that was about.
There have been movies like this before. The Sylvia Likens case comes to mind and I watched 2 films based on that. An American Crime (starring Ellen Page) and The Girl Next Door. Both handled the real life horrific murder solidly and elegantly. Even Elephant was oddly mesmerizing.
Unfortunately My Name is A by Anonymous clearly wants to give us innocence lost (a killer and a victim) theme, but none of that really stood out. Instead, Shane Ryan tricked me with a cool title and made me watch a film with untapped potential that had me asking him....why??
Nude-ipedia
Umm I try to not think of what I saw as nudity... ::shivers::
Gore-ipedia
A bit of blood
WTF moment
Where did this Russian music video come from?
The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis
My Name is A by Anonymous comes from Mad Sin Cinema. Here's some info on the vitals. My Name is A by anonymous (formerly known as The Columbine Effect) stars Russian pop star Teona Dolnikova, Demi Baumann – the younger sister of actor Ken Baumann from The Secret Life of the American Teenager, Sean Cain. With newcomers Katie Marsh, Kaliya Skye, Joseph Marsh and Alex Damiano. Produced by Alisha Rayne, Cinematography by Arturo Guerrero.
Rating:
Check out the trailer.
20111122
Kenneyville (Review)
Kenneyville
Kenneyville (2010)
Directed by Brooks Hunter
As a horror blogger, you'll get a range of indie horror films sent to you hoping that you'll see a breakout movie that is a diamond in the rough. Canada is ripe with horror talent from the Soska Sisters to Jason Eisener. When I read the synopsis for Kenneyville, I have to say I was intrigued: "a local scientist and businessman, has been collecting innocent women for experiments in creating brainwashed assassins."
Trailer looked promising enough and then I watched the whole movie. Well sometimes all you get are rocks. Kenneyville has a damn creative premise, promising characters and set in Canada, it seems unexpected. But the execution is clearly off, the acting pretty cardboard and stiff and the payoff downright disappointing.
What's left is a indie movie that's ambitiously slick for it's own good. I can buy that there are redneck sections of Canada, but government conspiracies and a town hiding one of helluva secret is a bit much. Director Brooks Hunter via the press release says the movie reflects his bipolar disorder and there are metaphors throughout. Clearly if I knew this I'd have probably seen a broken glass of milk as something other than a broken glass of milk. Sorry, I'm not that clever.
Boring Plot-O-Matic
There is something seriously wrong with Kenneyville. When, a young woman, KIM, from Toronto goes missing and police mysteriously drop the case earlier than expected, two private detectives are hired to find her. With undercover aliases, CHARLIE and KELLY head to the small town of Kenneyville for answers after discovering significant clues. Upon meeting seemingly innocent locals, Charlie is brutally beaten and Kelly is ruthlessly kidnapped. Charlie awakens in shock with a new mission: to find and save his partner. We soon realize the horrific truth behind both women's disappearances. ADRIAN BLACK, a local scientist and businessman, has been collecting innocent women for experiments in creating brainwashed assassins. Charlie soon discovers just how deep the rabbit hole goes and ultimately learns which shocking 'mega-organization' has hired Adrian to produce these ruthless killing machines. 
Awesome Review-O-Matic
Intrepid reporters/private investigators Patrick and Megan investigate a disappearance of a girl and head to Kenneyville, Canada. As they meet the locals who are fuckin waaay peculiar, Megan is kidnapped and soon joins other women who are systematically brainwashed by the evil Adrian Black. It's up to Patrick and his new found buddy Donovan to come to the rescue.
I'll start off with the little bit of good. The movie isn't just rednecks run amok but actually has a Charles Manson like plot device that makes the opening and the investigation somewhat interesting. Megan (Vanessa Broze) is a bit easy on the eyes looking all Elisha Cuthbert-ish. I began imagining a bunch of La Femme Nikitas all running around this town as Fox and Scully try to uncover this X-File. But somehow all I got instead was some atrocious acting and lots of dialogue filled with exclamation points.
Michael Scratch as Black performs with a twitchy eye and plays his Dr. Frankenstein as best he can. The locals also seem to be over the top and his #1 Victoria (Irena Angeloutsa) is clearly a bit wacky.
Now that I think of it, if the movie is suppose to metaphorically indicate a fragmented mind, I'm sure the characters might all be designed to represent the struggle of person with such a disorder. But clearly, I had no prior knowledge of this and all I came out of the flick was watching stereotypical characters: the heroic dude, the girl in distress, the wacko lady, the subordinate henchmen, the buddy, the evil scientist. There are some scenes that reflect a light vs dark feeling but I could just be reading way to much into that.
Kenneyville is a bit of a drag with scenes of prolonged filler, appetizers to a nonexistent meal. It nibbles on something interesting but never takes that one satisfying bite. The director mentioned: "It is a fictional, fantasy world in which many of the characters, events, sets, and production design represent various stages and elements of transitioning from feeling “normal" to having the world become emotionally paralyzing"
A movie like Identity (starring John Cusack) is similar to this but goes Hollywood generic. But somehow it's straightforwardness of a murder mystery with a twist is more effective and the typical viewer "gets it". With Kenneyville, I can only take it as subtle and I "didn't get it". All I saw were the alluring white slavery angle, redneck Canadian town and an X-File that never got solved.
Not many movies deal with a subject matter like this. Kenneyville is ambitious in that way but when you're making a horror movie, one can only be as simple minded to a simpleton like me. I'm not as you say totally normal, but I pretend to be one.
Nude-ipedia
Nada
WTF moment
Was that an impromptu happy ending?
The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis
I was provided a screener from the producers of Kenneyville. Want a different review? Check out 28 Days Later Analysis review of the film.
The Vitals
Check out the trailer.
20111107
Mediatrix (Review)
Mediatrix (2011)
Directed by Cory Udler
I'm pretty positive Cory Udler is not a big fan of organized religion. Udler, the mastermind behind the infamous Incest Death Squad 1 and 2, seems to wage his war on it behind the camera by satirizing the sheep and the wolves who prey on said sheep. With Mediatrix, it's front and center and mocks the mockery of all that is Christianity and it's inherit beliefs.
Mediatrix is an exploitation jab at the right wing neo-conservative religious right by inserting boobs, sex and rape to get its point across. Focusing on the devious Mary Ann who is a master manipulator on all things spiritual, she seduces the minds of the ultra stupid while challenging the status quo of a priest hell bent on exposing her.
What you end up with in Mediatrix is an odd black humor exploitation comedy that has screwball characters and a pure relentless wicked streak, similar to seeing a car crash during a funeral procession. Clearly it's messed up but oddly funny in a fucked up sort of way.
But that's not to say my fun-o-meter didn't pop up. I had a few gripes on the story, characters and overall lack of cohesiveness. There seemed to be a bit of dead air scenes and a few jokes fell flat. I wanted to see a standoff between the supposed good vs the supposed evil but you got the feeling it was going to be a one sided affair.
But as atheists would say, you play with fire you're gonna get burned. (Hmmm I'm not sure atheists would actually say that)
Boring Plot-O-Matic
It is the story of Mary Ann Van Hook-false spiritualist who parlays her manipulation skills into wealth, power and even her own cult of followers.
Awesome Review-O-Matic
We meet Mary Ann (Paula Duerksen) who raised by a stereotypical spiritual mom rebels by being the town bicycle. Clearly mom and daughter are scam artists de jour but Mary Ann it seems to ACTUALLY have a phone connection to the Virgin Mary (Shannon Lark). When she meets Carrie (Kaylee Williams from 3 Slices of Life) and her husband Will Brackett, they become an easy mark for our spiritual medium. Soon she's using her "assets" to seduce up Mr. Brackett and his associates all while stealing the pastor's congregation. All this leads to a showdown with said pastor.
Mediatrix feels like an extension of IDS with some usual actors back and some new ones in the mix. It has a sense of wacky and can't really be called a horror movie but more of an exploitation attack on how the gullible become gulled. Udler has always hovered his movies in a weird in between place of realistic wickedness and black humor oddity. This has the same feel. It has an indie quirkiness but also falls victim to not knowing what it should be.
It has elements of a black comedy but also seems to be hell bent on being a mish mash of other genres as well. Mary Ann, a tatted up, foul moth, druggie seems to hard to believe. She's a wolf in wolf's clothing yet the sheep are all convinced her spirituality is from the divine. I really didn't buy it. So many religions, especially evangelical Christianity could have been easily mocked and satirized but somehow it doesn't come out very well in Mediatrix. I was hoping to see a punk rock/death metal version of Book of Mormon.
The actors all seem to play heightened crazies. Duerksen gives a glimpse of her goods as the head crazy and does a good job in the role. It'd be nice to see Lark in a lead role as she has a scream queen persona to carry a movie. Udler regulars Matt Ukena, Scott Rawson and Tom Lodewyck also make appearances. Having remembered Williams from Slices of Life, she plays a very convincing sheep.
Mediatrix has fire of wrath vibes to it and has a feel of raw energy that most movies would be afraid to cover. But it also isn't as polished and straightforwardly wicked as Udler's previous Incest Death Squad 2. It's however fueled with an indie DIY spirit that oozes of Americana fuckedupness. For that I'm giving it 2 Hallelujahs.
Gore-ipedia
Head butting
Nude-ipedia
Main character boobies
WTF moment
So the Virgin Mary is a hot coked up punk rock girl?
The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis
Mediatrix is now out on DVD. The DVD has a Behind the Scenes and a trailer on it as well. Head over to the official site, Facebook group and follow on Twitter.
Rating:
Check out the trailer!
20111021
The Shortround: Kill Devil Hill (Watch the entire short for FREE!)
[NOTE: I reviewed this short a while back but director, Robert de Almeida III is giving us all a special treat as Kill Devil Hill will stream for free in October. You can watch the entire short below and then read my review after!]
Rarely does a short pack a punch in it's 12 minutes to leave me with my mouth wide open. But there's a first time for everything I guess. Ace Jordan's Kill Devil Hill I thought was a slow burn horror flick with Satanic overtones. But that slow burn fired up and by the end I was completely shocked by the intensity of it all.
Let's get the plot out of the way first. See below.
On a day trip with his family to Kill Devil Hill, Jesse Reed (Taylor Graham) chases after his son Joey (Aiden Miranda) who has mischievously run off into the woods nearby. Joey discovers the remnants of some demonic pagan ritual. The skull of a bull head, made entirely out of gold, hangs from a large oak tree. Joey touches the inverted pentagram on the skull only to find that it has been drawn in blood. Frightened, Joey slowly backs away.
Suddenly, the skull begins to 'come to life' inside an epic orb of light. Joey's eyes glow as it appears that something supernatural is trying to enter his body. He faints and the golden skull vanishes into thin air. Moments later, Jesse finds his son laying on the ground. He picks him up and carries him out of the woods. Late that night, Jesse wakes to use the bathroom. While washing his hands, he looks in the mirror and sees that his eyes are glowing with the same supernatural force that has invaded his son just hours before...
If the video doesn't work, click here.
the jaded viewer says: Kill Devil Hill is a slick reenactment of past crime in small town America. Many of these horrific crimes never get told but they should and Kill Devil Hill is a step in the right direction to tell the tale.
As I said before, it's a slow burn for a short but the final 4-6 minutes is a helluva a jolt. The set up is clearly intentional with a relaxed atmosphere of sleepy time as we meet our Americana family. But it seems not all is what it seems and through a flashback we see how the morning's events are going lead to a long night.
The Satanic overtones are clearly visible. Devil stars and makeshift sacrifice altar are in the woods Joey visits. We see something is haunting both father and son and when we get to the end, all hell is unleashed.
The performances are solid with some nice funny ha ha's all around. The final minutes are brutally vicious in their rawness. I thought they'd go all PG-13 but nothing is quite impactful than seeing a crime photo slaughter of innocents.
My only gripes would be the special effects. There are quick shots of a bullhead acting a little supernaturally floaty as well as a quick scare bullhead attack. Somehow I felt this wasn't necessary. It bordered on cheesy and little over the top. Having it grounded in some sort of "what we don't see is a little more scarier" would have made this film perfect.
But that doesn't diminish a real world crime translated into a fictional what if scenario. The short clearly screams "Why? Why? Why?!" but all is left unanswered. Kill Devil Hill is a fantastic slice of pseudo True Crime cinema. Here's hoping it can be extended to a full length film one day.
The Vitals
20111017
Memphis Heat: The True Story of Memphis Wrasslin (Review)
Memphis Heat: The True Story of Memphis Wrasslin
Directed by Chad Schaffler
Remember when throwing somebody over the top rope was illegal? How about jumping off the top rope? How about illegal wrestling moves?
If you can remember a time before John Cena and CM Punk, then this wrestling documentary maybe your Fuji dust in the face. Memphis Heat tells the story of Memphis style wrestling. The history, the stars and the outrageousness that made it one of the most popular sports and programs in the 60s, 70s and 80s in the Memphis territory. It's an outstanding documentary that delivers a piledrivers of info of what it was like to experience this brand of wrestling. The documentary includes colorful characters of the past and present interviewed and gives you stories you won't believe.
Just like Memphis wrestling's glory days, the main attraction in this documentary is Jerry "The King" Lawler, who younglings now only think was a former wrestler turned announcer that talked smack. But Lawler was one of the most popular wrestlers back in the day, and this doc shows it. History is covered as well as stories of promoters from hell, territory wars and in depth interviews with stars like Jackie Fargo, Jimmy Hart, Bill Dundee, Rocky Johnson, Jimmy Valiant, Jerry Jarrett, Billy Wicks and a man I had never hears of Sputnick Monroe. Sputnick's story is fascinating.
He was a main eventer and one of the most popular stars in the 60s. He wrestled in classic matches but more importantly demanded black fans be allowed to see him wrestle. The promoters were forced to expand the "colored" section and integrate the city. It's an interesting and important and somebody should honor this damn man.
Footage from Saturday Morning Wrestling is interspliced with interviews and you get a nice overview of all the storylines, gimmicks, tragedy and eventual downfall of the promotion. Lawler's feud with Andy Kaufman is covered in detail and it's clearly one I remember hearing about even though I was a youngling.
Memphis Heat rivals any WWE documentary in that it knows it's subject matter inside and out. It treats wrestling with the respect it deserves and most importantly honors all these living legends who took great pride in their sport. If you call yourself a wrestling fan, you need to see this documentary.
Rating:
Check out the trailer!
