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Random List of things you DON'T see in horror movies

  • A fat, black final girl
  • An Asian kid kung fu-ing a slasher
  • A slasher running on screen chasing teenagers
  • A fully functioning GPS on a road trip
  • A fully charged cell phone
  • A slasher married with 2 kids and a dog
  • Full on penetration
  • A kid that doesn't whisper in Satanic verses
  • A bunch of teens who listen to "the crazy old man telling them about the killer" and then hightail out of the woods and to a McDonald's
  • A McDonald's
  • A slasher who chases a victim around a studio apartment
  • A hot, slutty vixen staying fully clothed
  • A final guy who is gay
  • A car with a full tank of gas
  • Inbred rednecks that are misunderstood
  • Monsters who do minimal damage when they visit a highly populated city
  • Google as a search engine when they do research
  • A fat kid outrunning a slasher
  • Ghosts who realize they are actually ghosts
  • An amateur camera guy who can keep the camera steady
  • The public trusting the government during a crisis
  • Guidos
  • A mutant ostrich with a taste for human flesh
  • Zombies who crave only Canadian human flesh
  • A shower that doesn't fog the shit out of the bathroom
  • Somebody Wikipedia-ing something
  • Vampires who look like hipsters
  • A massacre at a baseball game
  • Small towns with hidden secrets
  • Were-bunnies
  • Blood thirst demons that look like Casper
  • Asians
  • People from Madagascar
  • Mad scientists who are looking for a cure for AIDS
  • A likable jock douchebag
  • Non gratuitous nudity
  • A post apocalyptic world where future people dress normally
  • A Jewish, blonde slutbomb
  • "We shouldn't split up"
  • Prescription drug use
  • A movie that's not a remake
OK some of these you could call me out on so go ahead and let me know in the comments. Want to add your own? Go ahead. I just wrote what popped in my head. Let me know what else I missed. Comment away!