Top 10 Horror Movies of 2010 (#20-11)

Everybody has been posting their Top 10 Horror Movies of 2010! Sorry for taking so long to get this live but I had to catch up on some of the movies I missed this year. I usually look at other people's lists and watch the movies that others claimed were the best. If I didn't, I would have missed out on a few sleepers this year.

Like last year, I've extended this to 20 films. In this list of #11-20, you'll be surprised to find has many of the movies that can be found on the horrorsphere's Top 10 lists. I had a different take on what was considered "the best" this year and my picks are totally abnormal from everybody else. I'm just quirky that way.

First some fun facts and sidenotes!

• Though some of these movies came out in 2009, I label any movie that got wide releases or DVD releases in 2010 as coming out in 2010
• It's a mix of indie horror and theatrical releases
• Here are the movies I didn't see yet: Black Swan, Let Me In, Shutter Island, Paranormal Activity 2, After.Life and a few other indie horror films that ended up on some Top 10s
  
• The 20 films broken down by country: USA = 12, Canada=2, UK=1, Finland =1, Australia=1, Serbia=1, Netherlands=1, Spain=1
• The 20 films broken down by spinkick rating: 4 spinkicks=1, 3 spinkicks= 16, 2 1/2 spinkicks=3 (I did not give any horror movie 4 spinkicks this year)
• Honorable Mentions: The Crazies, Daybreakers, Berdella, Dawning
  
• To read the entire review of the film click on the title.

So what did 2010 offer us in the world of horror?

• The horror mockumentary makes an appearance numerous times
• Shaky cam/Shot on video flicks haven't jumped the shark yet
• 3D Horror was everywhere and sucked in most cases
  
• The Human Centipede was the most talked about hype movie that bordered on mainstreeminess
• An unrated horror movie is too much for Hollywood theaters to handle
• The number one movie on my list is again not from the USA
  

Let's get to the list! Here is #20 to #11.

20.) Kill Theory
(2 and 1/2 spinkicks)

Kill Theory is not great but compared to the others, it's pretty solid. The premise is an intriguing one. The movie poses the question: What would you do to survive if given the choice to either kill your friends in order to live.

The answer plays out as slightly cliched and is executed in the most extreme way possible. And somehow it came out five by five.

Kill Theory is not a perfect movie, but director Chris Moore takes the Saw 101 approach and spins in some Battle Royale intrigue and a few goretastic moments. The premise is sound and execution is slightly above average.

When you're flipping through your Netflix or your local DVD store, this is the After Dark Horrorfest movie you want to be on the lookout for.

19.) Daybreakers
(2 and 1/2 spinkicks)

I didn't really review this movie but I'll admit, I liked the concept. It's not a perfect movie by any means but the setup was so intriguing I clearly got caught up by a world dominated by vampires.

Seeing this new world where everybody is a vampire has gotta be the best dystopia I've seen in recent years. You would think the vampires would have thought ahead of what would happen.

The movie forgettably succumbs to a long drawn out battle but seeing the technology for a post vampiric world was why it ends up on this list.

There was so much they could have done and they only did the most adequate amount. But it's definitely a sight to behold.


18.) Death of the Dead
(3 spinkicks)

Death of the Dead is a campy horror kung fu comedy, comparable to seeing a YouTube video of a dude getting kicked in the groin. Think Karate Kid meets Troma and throw in a little bit of Scary Movie and some Zucker Brothers. Mix in a blender and you got Death of the Dead.

Death of the Dead is chock full of sight gags, toilet humor and self aware jokes that it had me laughing at all this kung fu foolery. It's also smart enough to not be those movies where you parody the latest popular movie (sorry Twilight fans). What it does is take 2 genres, the karate action movie and the zombie movie and mixes in the cliches from both to make a comedy that cleverly mocks the mockery.

This is the only horror comedy I have on my list. And it should be proud to be here.


17.) Rare Exports
(3 spinkicks)

Rare Exports is that rare holiday gem that makes you feel the holiday spirit. I mentioned Rare Exports and the viral shorts that gave birth to this feature a while ago. Having seen the shorts, I'll admit it took away from the film a bit for me.

Not since Gremlins has a Christmas themed mild horror film put a smile on my face. Rare Exports takes the traditional little boy staple, dashes in a far away land and throws in a few naked but angry Santas to turn in one of the most entertaining holiday movies this year.

Rare Exports gladly twists your red cheeked, white beard, jolly fat man into the most menacing threat on the other side of the Atlantic. Blending fairy tale into a bizarro Christmas tale, Rare Exports gives you that feeling of being a kid on Christmas morning. What more would you want?


16.) Frozen
(2 and 1/2 spinkicks)

What the hell right? Why is Frozen all the way down on a Top 20 list? I know what you're thinking. It should be waaaay higher. But here's the deal for me regarding Frozen.

I absolutely loved the premise of what would you do if you were trapped on a ski lift and there was no hope of rescue. The movie shows some of these theories play out and a few others that seem quite preposterous. Like the movie its ultimately compared to, Open Water (a movie I also thought was average at best) the best part of the movie is not seeing the suffering or the panic on the faces of our would be survivors, it's coming up with ways we think we could survive the same ordeal.

It's a mixed bag of nuts for me. I liked the premise, the escape attempts and *gasp* even the characters. What I didn't like were the other obstacles that nature threw their way that seemed outright ridiculous.
Which is why it ends up as #16.


15.) Sella Turcica
(3 spinkicks)

August Underground this is not. Sella Turcica is the latest film from Toe Tag Pictures.

Sella Turcica takes the cliched overused soldier's homecoming story and adds a horror element that redefines trauma in a whole new way. This is the evolution of Toe Tag we are seeing and I like where they are going. It may take a while to get going but somehow I have to admit I was liking each of the characters. They reminded me of a friend's hometown, each of the people resembling real people, not the cardboard MTV cutouts we always see in horror movies.

It's an uneasy feeling to go from Lifetime movie of the week to gorehound delight in a span of 100 or so minutes. But that's what happens in Sella Turcica and while we all know it won't end well, you know your going to be shell shocked instead of post traumatized.


14.) Burning Bright
(3 spinkicks)

Burning Bright has been on a lot of Top 10s and after seeing this flick I know why. Such a simple premise but it works on all cylinders. A teenage girl and her autistic brother are trapped in a house with A TIGER!!!!!!!!!!! during a hurricane. It's preposterous but its awesome at the same time.

It turns into a cat and mouse affair and we get some scenes of heightened suspense and tension. The house is traveled well and our final girl does all she can to outsmart the tiger.

But the tiger goes all tiger and is damn smart himself.

Who knew a movie about a killer tiger could give me a horror happy?



13.) Splice
(4 spinkicks)

Insano Steve gave this 4 spinkicks and I would give it high marks as well.

I've missed DNA resequencing films and Splice shows why they are so much fun to watch.

Via Insano Steve.

See Splice. Seriously, see Splice! This was a super fun movie to watch. At first, I had hoped this would be a semi-realistic look at the dangers of gene manipulation.

As it turns out, it was just a B-movie, but a thoroughly enjoyable one. Seriously, if you haven’t seen it yet, go see Splice!


12.) The Taint
(3 spinkicks)

The Taint is the next evolution of the Troma movie. I think Troma has lost touch with it's extreeminess but directors Drew Bolduc and Dan Nelson have spawned a new genre of low budget horror comedy. The American WTF movie. That's what The Taint is. It's got a mild plot, some easily identifiable characters and lots of WTF. I've never seen so much WTF in my movie viewing history. That and a lot of penis. Yes folks, this movie has more penis shots than a Playgirl pictorial.

I've seen some indie budget horror coms that fall in line with The Taint. But the others never had the amount of gore and splatter this flick has. In the same vain as Black Devil Doll, Isle of the Damned, Hanger, Gutterballs and John Waters flicks it's 110% offensive and 200% fucked up fun.

Running at an unbelievable 70 minutes, you'll need to take a long cold shower after seeing this filthy filth. If you have a wife or GF, send them to movies to see a rom com because they may "Bobbit" you if they catch you watching The Taint.


11.) The Horseman
(3 spinkicks)

It's been a while since I've seen a straight balls hurtin revenge movie. I still believe Chan-wook Park's Oldboy is the standard though Kill Bill puts out the ultraviolence pretty solidly as well. But that's the past.

Welcome to Australia's version of revenge.

And as the old adage goes, if you see one uber violent revenge movie this year....well let it be The Horseman.

Steven Kastrissio's The Horseman is a climax of alpha male Fight Club fists of fury meets a dish best served cold. The journey we take with Christian, our grief stricken father whose daughter was snuffed by a porn/snuff ring is suspenseful and filled with clashing of pure poetic violence.

Check your guns and katanas at the door. No need for that wimpy shit here. Christian uses a variety of elaborate torture weapons from knives, hammers and pliers to exact his blood fury. So what do we end up with?

A soon to be classic revenge movie that is no holds barred one of the best the genre has to offer.

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CLICK HERE FOR #10-1!!!!

The Jaded Viewer Related Linkage

• The Best Quotey Quotables from the Worst Movies I saw in 2010
• Top 5 Action Movies of 2010

Frozen (Review)

Frozen

Frozen (2010)

Directed by Adam Green

I'm not going to lie. I got caught up in the hype for Adam Green's new movie Frozen. I absolutely loved Hatchet, dug Spiral and have enjoyed all the ArieScope shorts (including some awesome Halloween themed shorts). So suffice it to say, I am a big fan of Green and his work.

So my bias had me giving this movie 4 spinkicks even before I saw it. But I realized I needed to review this flick with some sort of objectivity and so as I watched, that 4 spinkicks would be modified as the flick went along.

OK, so with my prejudice out of the way, what did I think of Frozen?

I absolutely loved the premise of what would you do if you were trapped on a ski lift and there was no hope of rescue. I had a few coworkers watch the trailer and we all came up with theories. Some of them would sit and wait for help, others would go all MacGyver and work out a way to get down.

The movie shows some of these theories play out and a few others that seem quite preposterous. Like the movie its ultimately compared to, Open Water (a movie I also thought was average at best) the best part of the movie is not seeing the suffering or the panic on the faces of our would be survivors, it's coming up with ways we think we could survive the same ordeal.

It's a mixed bag of nuts for me. I liked the premise, the escape attempts and *gasp* even the characters. What I didn't like were the other obstacles that nature threw their way that seemed outright ridiculous.

So for this review (as I try to be non spoiler-ish), I've come up with my own rules of how to survive being on a ski lift without the hope of rescue.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Three skiers are stranded on a chairlift and forced to make life-or-death choices that prove more perilous than staying put and freezing to death.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

How to Survive Being Stuck on A Ski Lift

1.) Have your cell phone at all times (and make sure it's got coverage at the ski resort!)

Sure you don't want to break your phone while snowboarding or skiing but it sure would be a good idea when your stuck on a ski lift. Hell, even if it doesn't work you can play MindSweeper while you wait to die.

2.) Have interesting stories to talk about while waiting for that eventual, slow painful death

So if you've been stuck in a winter storm, our main characters are as follows:

• Dan (college X-Gamer who plays Rational Guy)
• Parker (his GF who plays Panic Girl)
• Lynch (Dan's BFF who plays Hero Guy)

The one thing about Frozen is the characters feel real. None of them seem like hipster douchebags who you want to die. I actually felt sympathy and was pulling for all of them to survive (especially Lynch who is the stereotypical stoner but comes out instead as a dude you wanna have a beer with)

Adam Green made Frozen quick and probably in budget but he has pretty much one setting for 80% of the movie. 3 people on a ski lift. So how in the world do you get people to tolerate such a thing for an hour or so?

You really need them to talk about themselves and tell stories that are interesting to the audience. And Lynch does this well (he talks about meeting Dan, awesome cereals, his lost love and celebrities he would do). The others, Parker and Dan are in relationship mode and console each other. But Lynch makes all the difference as he's the Shaun White guy with the funny one liners.

One scene that had me squirming was the eventual death of one of the 3. Two characters only looked at each other as a slaughter occurred. Very good Adam Green stuff on this. Kudos.

3.) Bring various objects that can be MacGyver-ed into a device that can be made into something that can aide in your escape (and also gum)

So our 3 X-gamers don't have ski lift tix but fandangle their way via the ski lift operator for one last run. But circumstances work out perfectly, that this dude and dudes "forget" about them (they are probably gonna be charged with manslaughter at the end of the day)

But in the meantime, our group of 3 are hungry, they are having urination issues and are cold as fuck. Night is approaching and its time to think of ways of escaping these freezer box torture. If they had brought a hanger, a bungee cord, a Phillips head screwdriver and some gum, they could have easily created a device to get them down.

So how does one get down from a ski lift?

Here are some of my outrageous theories (some of them are even plausible!)

• Use one of the ski poles to slide down on the wire where the lifts are attached
• Use your clothing and various snow equipment to make a rope and lower yourself down
• Jump to a nearby tree to break your fall
• Use the cushion your sitting on and jump off with that to break your fall

Of course the movie plays out the worst of the ideas and that's where it shines. Seeing the gruesomeness and consequences of these escape attempts even got me, the jaded viewer, a little squeamish. I winced quite a few times which goes to show you how the movie is effective in this way.

The movie is very realistic in what happens when you try to do the impossible. Nobody here is going to the Winter Olympics and they are all amateurs in survival. I really liked this about Frozen and it doesn't skim on the gore factor. You're gonna get hurt and it's going to hurt like fuckin crazy.

4.) Bring some Chapstick and a portable heater

So the effects of a prolonged cold are going to wreak havoc on the human body. Frostbite is the main adversary in the battle vs the winter. Frozen does do a great job of illustrating the evolution of it on the human body (and for us gorehounds, more so gratuitously).

5.) Bring Samurai Swords, a flamethrower and a high powered assault rifle (to scare any woodland creatures away)

The movie was at a high 3 spinkicks for me until we got some nature vs man moments inserted into the flick.

**!!!!!!SPOILERS!!!!!** (sorry can't help it)

The wolves were a bit overkill on here. I can believe sharks in Open Water but wolves at a ski resort? Sure, that could happen but where are the wolves when the ski resort is opened? I'm no Animal Planet expert but these wolves are like an LA street gang. I mean our crew is only in their territory a short time and the wolves are performing drive by mauls.

This is indeed the WTF moment of the film and for me it's not a very good Big Bad and destroys the realisticness of the movie. The mega cold, blizzard conditions, frostbite and human error are all things that COULD happen but the wolves were overkill in my opinion.

Frozen ends a little differently than I would have wanted it to and for that another spinkick gets knocked down. Sure we've gotten a few survivor stories (many unbelievable from the Haiti earthquake) but more so, it's more probable that there are more sad endings than happy.

All in all Frozen is a slightly above average film that delivers the goods and the reactions of what people would do if the worst case scenario happened to them. I applaud Adam Green for taking a very obvious question and extending it to a movie that has some solid suspense, some shiverish moments and ample amounts of gore.

Frozen is a survival movie where nature attacks from all sides. But its our will to survive that usually ends in our downfall. Go see it and decide what you would do if that were you up on the ski lift is sub zero temperatures. Because what you think might work, doesn't.

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

Indie Horror has to be supported so if Frozen is playing in your neighborhood, please go see it. Here is the link to the cities it's playing at. Right now, the movie is got people leaning in the middle. Some absolutely love the movie, others thought it was dribble.

I fall on neither extreme side. I loved some parts of it and others I felt were too goofy and unrealistic. But that won't stop me from telling you to see Frozen to see why everybody has such a diverse opinion about it.

Now I'm going to make me some hot chocolate. It's cold outside.

Rating:

1/2

Check out the trailer below.