If you're inner gorehound needs to be fed and if you're inner misogynist needs to be jerked off I highly recommend The Taint. You won't be disappointed by this throwback 80s splatterfest.
Watch the film below and be mesmerized by exploding dicks!
Tampilkan postingan dengan label the taint. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label the taint. Tampilkan semua postingan
20120510
0
Director Drew Bolduc has informed me his awesome flick The Taint (see full review here) is now available for FREE this week. It really is one fucked up crazy flick. As I wrote in my review....
If you're inner gorehound needs to be fed and if you're inner misogynist needs to be jerked off I highly recommend The Taint. You won't be disappointed by this throwback 80s splatterfest.
Watch the film below and be mesmerized by exploding dicks!
The Taint (Full Movie) from Dan Nelson on Vimeo.
Watch The Taint Right Now Online!
If you're inner gorehound needs to be fed and if you're inner misogynist needs to be jerked off I highly recommend The Taint. You won't be disappointed by this throwback 80s splatterfest.
Watch the film below and be mesmerized by exploding dicks!
20110624
0
Watch the awesome movie The Taint for FREE!!!
Director Drew Bolduc dropped me a line to let you all know that you can now watch his and Dan Nelson's flick The Taint for FREE....yes for freakin free...until the end of June.
I reviewed the film earlier this year and I gave it 3 out of 4 spinkicks. You can read my entire review here.
Here's a quote from my review.
"The Taint is the next evolution of the Troma movie. I think Troma has lost touch with it's extreeminess but directors Drew Bolduc and Dan Nelson have spawned a new genre of low budget horror comedy. The American WTF movie. That's what The Taint is. It's got a mild plot, some easily identifiable characters and lots of WTF. I've never seen so much WTF in my movie viewing history. That and a lot of penis. Yes folks, this movie has more penis shots than a Playgirl pictorial."
Watch the entire film below and head over to the official site, Like it on Facebook and follow them on Twitter for more icky goodness.
Now watch the entire film and be prepared for some extra saucy WTF!
The Taint from Dan Nelson on Vimeo.
20110106
0
20.) Kill Theory
(2 and 1/2 spinkicks)
Kill Theory is not great but compared to the others, it's pretty solid. The premise is an intriguing one. The movie poses the question: What would you do to survive if given the choice to either kill your friends in order to live.
The answer plays out as slightly cliched and is executed in the most extreme way possible. And somehow it came out five by five.
Kill Theory is not a perfect movie, but director Chris Moore takes the Saw 101 approach and spins in some Battle Royale intrigue and a few goretastic moments. The premise is sound and execution is slightly above average.
When you're flipping through your Netflix or your local DVD store, this is the After Dark Horrorfest movie you want to be on the lookout for.
19.) Daybreakers
(2 and 1/2 spinkicks)
I didn't really review this movie but I'll admit, I liked the concept. It's not a perfect movie by any means but the setup was so intriguing I clearly got caught up by a world dominated by vampires.
Seeing this new world where everybody is a vampire has gotta be the best dystopia I've seen in recent years. You would think the vampires would have thought ahead of what would happen.
The movie forgettably succumbs to a long drawn out battle but seeing the technology for a post vampiric world was why it ends up on this list.
There was so much they could have done and they only did the most adequate amount. But it's definitely a sight to behold.
18.) Death of the Dead
(3 spinkicks)
Death of the Dead is a campy horror kung fu comedy, comparable to seeing a YouTube video of a dude getting kicked in the groin. Think Karate Kid meets Troma and throw in a little bit of Scary Movie and some Zucker Brothers. Mix in a blender and you got Death of the Dead.
Death of the Dead is chock full of sight gags, toilet humor and self aware jokes that it had me laughing at all this kung fu foolery. It's also smart enough to not be those movies where you parody the latest popular movie (sorry Twilight fans). What it does is take 2 genres, the karate action movie and the zombie movie and mixes in the cliches from both to make a comedy that cleverly mocks the mockery.
This is the only horror comedy I have on my list. And it should be proud to be here.
17.) Rare Exports
(3 spinkicks)
Rare Exports is that rare holiday gem that makes you feel the holiday spirit. I mentioned Rare Exports and the viral shorts that gave birth to this feature a while ago. Having seen the shorts, I'll admit it took away from the film a bit for me.
Not since Gremlins has a Christmas themed mild horror film put a smile on my face. Rare Exports takes the traditional little boy staple, dashes in a far away land and throws in a few naked but angry Santas to turn in one of the most entertaining holiday movies this year.
Rare Exports gladly twists your red cheeked, white beard, jolly fat man into the most menacing threat on the other side of the Atlantic. Blending fairy tale into a bizarro Christmas tale, Rare Exports gives you that feeling of being a kid on Christmas morning. What more would you want?
16.) Frozen
(2 and 1/2 spinkicks)
What the hell right? Why is Frozen all the way down on a Top 20 list? I know what you're thinking. It should be waaaay higher. But here's the deal for me regarding Frozen.
I absolutely loved the premise of what would you do if you were trapped on a ski lift and there was no hope of rescue. The movie shows some of these theories play out and a few others that seem quite preposterous. Like the movie its ultimately compared to, Open Water (a movie I also thought was average at best) the best part of the movie is not seeing the suffering or the panic on the faces of our would be survivors, it's coming up with ways we think we could survive the same ordeal.
It's a mixed bag of nuts for me. I liked the premise, the escape attempts and *gasp* even the characters. What I didn't like were the other obstacles that nature threw their way that seemed outright ridiculous.
Which is why it ends up as #16.
15.) Sella Turcica
(3 spinkicks)
August Underground this is not. Sella Turcica is the latest film from Toe Tag Pictures.
Sella Turcica takes the cliched overused soldier's homecoming story and adds a horror element that redefines trauma in a whole new way. This is the evolution of Toe Tag we are seeing and I like where they are going. It may take a while to get going but somehow I have to admit I was liking each of the characters. They reminded me of a friend's hometown, each of the people resembling real people, not the cardboard MTV cutouts we always see in horror movies.
It's an uneasy feeling to go from Lifetime movie of the week to gorehound delight in a span of 100 or so minutes. But that's what happens in Sella Turcica and while we all know it won't end well, you know your going to be shell shocked instead of post traumatized.
14.) Burning Bright
(3 spinkicks)
Burning Bright has been on a lot of Top 10s and after seeing this flick I know why. Such a simple premise but it works on all cylinders. A teenage girl and her autistic brother are trapped in a house with A TIGER!!!!!!!!!!! during a hurricane. It's preposterous but its awesome at the same time.
It turns into a cat and mouse affair and we get some scenes of heightened suspense and tension. The house is traveled well and our final girl does all she can to outsmart the tiger.
But the tiger goes all tiger and is damn smart himself.
Who knew a movie about a killer tiger could give me a horror happy?
13.) Splice
(4 spinkicks)
Insano Steve gave this 4 spinkicks and I would give it high marks as well.
I've missed DNA resequencing films and Splice shows why they are so much fun to watch.
Via Insano Steve.
See Splice. Seriously, see Splice! This was a super fun movie to watch. At first, I had hoped this would be a semi-realistic look at the dangers of gene manipulation.
As it turns out, it was just a B-movie, but a thoroughly enjoyable one. Seriously, if you haven’t seen it yet, go see Splice!
12.) The Taint
(3 spinkicks)
The Taint is the next evolution of the Troma movie. I think Troma has lost touch with it's extreeminess but directors Drew Bolduc and Dan Nelson have spawned a new genre of low budget horror comedy. The American WTF movie. That's what The Taint is. It's got a mild plot, some easily identifiable characters and lots of WTF. I've never seen so much WTF in my movie viewing history. That and a lot of penis. Yes folks, this movie has more penis shots than a Playgirl pictorial.
I've seen some indie budget horror coms that fall in line with The Taint. But the others never had the amount of gore and splatter this flick has. In the same vain as Black Devil Doll, Isle of the Damned, Hanger, Gutterballs and John Waters flicks it's 110% offensive and 200% fucked up fun.
Running at an unbelievable 70 minutes, you'll need to take a long cold shower after seeing this filthy filth. If you have a wife or GF, send them to movies to see a rom com because they may "Bobbit" you if they catch you watching The Taint.
11.) The Horseman
(3 spinkicks)
It's been a while since I've seen a straight balls hurtin revenge movie. I still believe Chan-wook Park's Oldboy is the standard though Kill Bill puts out the ultraviolence pretty solidly as well. But that's the past.
Welcome to Australia's version of revenge.
And as the old adage goes, if you see one uber violent revenge movie this year....well let it be The Horseman.
Steven Kastrissio's The Horseman is a climax of alpha male Fight Club fists of fury meets a dish best served cold. The journey we take with Christian, our grief stricken father whose daughter was snuffed by a porn/snuff ring is suspenseful and filled with clashing of pure poetic violence.
Check your guns and katanas at the door. No need for that wimpy shit here. Christian uses a variety of elaborate torture weapons from knives, hammers and pliers to exact his blood fury. So what do we end up with?
A soon to be classic revenge movie that is no holds barred one of the best the genre has to offer.
Top 10 Horror Movies of 2010 (#20-11)
Everybody has been posting their Top 10 Horror Movies of 2010! Sorry for taking so long to get this live but I had to catch up on some of the movies I missed this year. I usually look at other people's lists and watch the movies that others claimed were the best. If I didn't, I would have missed out on a few sleepers this year.
Like last year, I've extended this to 20 films. In this list of #11-20, you'll be surprised to find has many of the movies that can be found on the horrorsphere's Top 10 lists. I had a different take on what was considered "the best" this year and my picks are totally abnormal from everybody else. I'm just quirky that way.
First some fun facts and sidenotes!
- Though some of these movies came out in 2009, I label any movie that got wide releases or DVD releases in 2010 as coming out in 2010
- It's a mix of indie horror and theatrical releases
- Here are the movies I didn't see yet: Black Swan, Let Me In, Shutter Island, Paranormal Activity 2, After.Life and a few other indie horror films that ended up on some Top 10s
- The 20 films broken down by country: USA = 12, Canada=2, UK=1, Finland =1, Australia=1, Serbia=1, Netherlands=1, Spain=1
- The 20 films broken down by spinkick rating: 4 spinkicks=1, 3 spinkicks= 16, 2 1/2 spinkicks=3 (I did not give any horror movie 4 spinkicks this year)
- Honorable Mentions: The Crazies, Daybreakers, Berdella, Dawning
- To read the entire review of the film click on the title.
- The horror mockumentary makes an appearance numerous times
- Shaky cam/Shot on video flicks haven't jumped the shark yet
- 3D Horror was everywhere and sucked in most cases
- The Human Centipede was the most talked about hype movie that bordered on mainstreeminess
- An unrated horror movie is too much for Hollywood theaters to handle
- The number one movie on my list is again not from the USA
20.) Kill Theory(2 and 1/2 spinkicks)
Kill Theory is not great but compared to the others, it's pretty solid. The premise is an intriguing one. The movie poses the question: What would you do to survive if given the choice to either kill your friends in order to live.
The answer plays out as slightly cliched and is executed in the most extreme way possible. And somehow it came out five by five.
Kill Theory is not a perfect movie, but director Chris Moore takes the Saw 101 approach and spins in some Battle Royale intrigue and a few goretastic moments. The premise is sound and execution is slightly above average.
When you're flipping through your Netflix or your local DVD store, this is the After Dark Horrorfest movie you want to be on the lookout for.
19.) Daybreakers(2 and 1/2 spinkicks)
I didn't really review this movie but I'll admit, I liked the concept. It's not a perfect movie by any means but the setup was so intriguing I clearly got caught up by a world dominated by vampires.
Seeing this new world where everybody is a vampire has gotta be the best dystopia I've seen in recent years. You would think the vampires would have thought ahead of what would happen.
The movie forgettably succumbs to a long drawn out battle but seeing the technology for a post vampiric world was why it ends up on this list.
There was so much they could have done and they only did the most adequate amount. But it's definitely a sight to behold.
18.) Death of the Dead(3 spinkicks)
Death of the Dead is a campy horror kung fu comedy, comparable to seeing a YouTube video of a dude getting kicked in the groin. Think Karate Kid meets Troma and throw in a little bit of Scary Movie and some Zucker Brothers. Mix in a blender and you got Death of the Dead.
Death of the Dead is chock full of sight gags, toilet humor and self aware jokes that it had me laughing at all this kung fu foolery. It's also smart enough to not be those movies where you parody the latest popular movie (sorry Twilight fans). What it does is take 2 genres, the karate action movie and the zombie movie and mixes in the cliches from both to make a comedy that cleverly mocks the mockery.
This is the only horror comedy I have on my list. And it should be proud to be here.
17.) Rare Exports(3 spinkicks)
Rare Exports is that rare holiday gem that makes you feel the holiday spirit. I mentioned Rare Exports and the viral shorts that gave birth to this feature a while ago. Having seen the shorts, I'll admit it took away from the film a bit for me.
Not since Gremlins has a Christmas themed mild horror film put a smile on my face. Rare Exports takes the traditional little boy staple, dashes in a far away land and throws in a few naked but angry Santas to turn in one of the most entertaining holiday movies this year.
Rare Exports gladly twists your red cheeked, white beard, jolly fat man into the most menacing threat on the other side of the Atlantic. Blending fairy tale into a bizarro Christmas tale, Rare Exports gives you that feeling of being a kid on Christmas morning. What more would you want?
16.) Frozen(2 and 1/2 spinkicks)
What the hell right? Why is Frozen all the way down on a Top 20 list? I know what you're thinking. It should be waaaay higher. But here's the deal for me regarding Frozen.
I absolutely loved the premise of what would you do if you were trapped on a ski lift and there was no hope of rescue. The movie shows some of these theories play out and a few others that seem quite preposterous. Like the movie its ultimately compared to, Open Water (a movie I also thought was average at best) the best part of the movie is not seeing the suffering or the panic on the faces of our would be survivors, it's coming up with ways we think we could survive the same ordeal.
It's a mixed bag of nuts for me. I liked the premise, the escape attempts and *gasp* even the characters. What I didn't like were the other obstacles that nature threw their way that seemed outright ridiculous.
Which is why it ends up as #16.
15.) Sella Turcica(3 spinkicks)
August Underground this is not. Sella Turcica is the latest film from Toe Tag Pictures.
Sella Turcica takes the cliched overused soldier's homecoming story and adds a horror element that redefines trauma in a whole new way. This is the evolution of Toe Tag we are seeing and I like where they are going. It may take a while to get going but somehow I have to admit I was liking each of the characters. They reminded me of a friend's hometown, each of the people resembling real people, not the cardboard MTV cutouts we always see in horror movies.
It's an uneasy feeling to go from Lifetime movie of the week to gorehound delight in a span of 100 or so minutes. But that's what happens in Sella Turcica and while we all know it won't end well, you know your going to be shell shocked instead of post traumatized.
14.) Burning Bright(3 spinkicks)
Burning Bright has been on a lot of Top 10s and after seeing this flick I know why. Such a simple premise but it works on all cylinders. A teenage girl and her autistic brother are trapped in a house with A TIGER!!!!!!!!!!! during a hurricane. It's preposterous but its awesome at the same time.
It turns into a cat and mouse affair and we get some scenes of heightened suspense and tension. The house is traveled well and our final girl does all she can to outsmart the tiger.
But the tiger goes all tiger and is damn smart himself.
Who knew a movie about a killer tiger could give me a horror happy?
13.) Splice(4 spinkicks)
Insano Steve gave this 4 spinkicks and I would give it high marks as well.
I've missed DNA resequencing films and Splice shows why they are so much fun to watch.
Via Insano Steve.
See Splice. Seriously, see Splice! This was a super fun movie to watch. At first, I had hoped this would be a semi-realistic look at the dangers of gene manipulation.
As it turns out, it was just a B-movie, but a thoroughly enjoyable one. Seriously, if you haven’t seen it yet, go see Splice!
12.) The Taint(3 spinkicks)
The Taint is the next evolution of the Troma movie. I think Troma has lost touch with it's extreeminess but directors Drew Bolduc and Dan Nelson have spawned a new genre of low budget horror comedy. The American WTF movie. That's what The Taint is. It's got a mild plot, some easily identifiable characters and lots of WTF. I've never seen so much WTF in my movie viewing history. That and a lot of penis. Yes folks, this movie has more penis shots than a Playgirl pictorial.
I've seen some indie budget horror coms that fall in line with The Taint. But the others never had the amount of gore and splatter this flick has. In the same vain as Black Devil Doll, Isle of the Damned, Hanger, Gutterballs and John Waters flicks it's 110% offensive and 200% fucked up fun.
Running at an unbelievable 70 minutes, you'll need to take a long cold shower after seeing this filthy filth. If you have a wife or GF, send them to movies to see a rom com because they may "Bobbit" you if they catch you watching The Taint.
11.) The Horseman(3 spinkicks)
It's been a while since I've seen a straight balls hurtin revenge movie. I still believe Chan-wook Park's Oldboy is the standard though Kill Bill puts out the ultraviolence pretty solidly as well. But that's the past.
Welcome to Australia's version of revenge.
And as the old adage goes, if you see one uber violent revenge movie this year....well let it be The Horseman.
Steven Kastrissio's The Horseman is a climax of alpha male Fight Club fists of fury meets a dish best served cold. The journey we take with Christian, our grief stricken father whose daughter was snuffed by a porn/snuff ring is suspenseful and filled with clashing of pure poetic violence.
Check your guns and katanas at the door. No need for that wimpy shit here. Christian uses a variety of elaborate torture weapons from knives, hammers and pliers to exact his blood fury. So what do we end up with?
A soon to be classic revenge movie that is no holds barred one of the best the genre has to offer.
*********************************************
20101124
0
Check out the trailer below.
The Taint (Review)
The Taint
The Taint (2010)
Directed by Drew Bolduc and Dan Nelson
I think we have record for fastest shot of a pair of titties in a movie.
3 seconds.
That's how long it takes The Taint to whip out some boobies for your viewing pleasure. It's a hell of an opening for this lowest denominator flick however if you're an alpha male with a pulse, you know something moved.
I hate to be crude with my review but when you view this soon to be cult classic, you have to describe it as openly as a gay 80s montage (which we have in this flick as well).
The Taint is the next evolution of the Troma movie. I think Troma has lost touch with it's extreeminess but directors Drew Bolduc and Dan Nelson have spawned a new genre of low budget horror comedy. The American WTF movie. That's what The Taint is. It's got a mild plot, some easily identifiable characters and lots of WTF. I've never seen so much WTF in my movie viewing history. That and a lot of penis. Yes folks, this movie has more penis shots than a Playgirl pictorial.
I've seen some indie budget horror coms that fall in line with The Taint. But the others never had the amount of gore and splatter this flick has. In the same vain as Black Devil Doll, Isle of the Damned, Hanger, Gutterballs and John Waters flicks it's 110% offensive and 200% fucked up fun.
Running at an unbelievable 70 minutes, you'll need to take a long cold shower after seeing this filthy filth. If you have a wife or GF, send them to movies to see a rom com because they may "Bobbit" you if they catch you watching The Taint.
Boring Plot-O-Matic
THE TAINT is an intellectual experience. It is a violent and misogynistic film about violence, misogyny, and entertainment. It features sadistic violence, gratuitous sexual content, and scenes of spellbinding dramatic interest. It also contains more cock explosions than any other movie ever. It’s the ultimate sexually-frustrated-male-nerd-emotional-masturbation-release film, done in the style of an 80’s horror-comedy.
Awesome Review-O-Matic
The opening credits are done VHS special effects 80s style which time travel you back to those 80s gorefests we all loved. After the boobie montage, we meet Phil O'Ginny, a blonde hipster slacker dude who seems to have found himself in the middle of a misogynistic crazy men massacre. The men, with full frontal penis dangling are attacking the scantily clad women all across this small American town. That's some heavy duty WTF don't ya think?
Suffice it to say, Phil's high as fuck and encounters a few interesting people along the way. He first meets Misandra who goes all flashbacky as she tells him her marriage was destroyed by the water supply that's now tainted which has caused all the men to be misogynistic maniacs. It's filled with 80s staples such as montagy picnics in the park and mooshy face cave ins.
Later Phil and Misandra meet up with a Phil's old PE teacher and his bunch of cronies who also go all flashbacky through a Rocky style 80s montage which is filled with gay innuendo at its extreme. Seeing a dude pumping iron and wrestling seemed so innocent to us back in the 80s. Not so much today and the parody of this is hilarious.
Now almost beaten to a pulp, Phil is saved by a masked stranger who in his former life was a scientist who with his science team (complete with fancy gizmos and calculators) try to create cockzantium (a drug so that all dudes can get BJs). The Nazi propaganda commercial devised for this fucked up Viagra is LOL funny.
So it's up to Phil to save the day and as the plot-o-matic says, we get more cock explosions than I've ever seen in a movie.....ever.
Stuffed into the flick is a funny bunny cartoon and tons of naked women getting slaughtered in all sorts of ways. Slice and dice, large rock to the face trauma and more penis oozing than a porn movie. Bodily fluids are evacuated from every orifice in The Taint. Don't say I didn't warn you.
For a low budget flick by some Virginia college students, The Taint is a high value production. They could have easily dragged this to 90 minutes but I'm pretty sure they didn't have that much footage. The acting is self parody edging on corniness but that's not really the point of the flick. Plot, acting, soundtrack are secondary to what the film ejaculates on screen. It's pure simple WTF and they have tons of WTF money shots for your viewing pleasure.
You can't beat this flick in that department if you cloned Waters and Kaufman together. The Taint is a 21st century fetus of 80s splatter comedy. It's totally fucked up but in that good, punch in the face sorta way. Every dude on the planet is easily mesmerized by seeing a pair of tits, but also easily traumatized by seeing full frontal cock.
You're going to see the best and worst of both worlds in The Taint and you're going to keep repeating in a loud, happy voice.....WTF!!!!!
Nude-ipedia
Tons of full frontal nudity by hot women
BBA trifecta (boobs, bush and ass)
Full frontal penis
Gore-ipedia
A shitload of practical and digital gore effects.
WTF moment
The cock explosions at the end
The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis
There is always one film a year that is so offensive, so fucked up and just pure trash that it makes my Top 10 list. Last year it was Black Devil Doll. The Taint has made a case for being on that list this year.
I can say, it's one of the funniest horror comedies I've seen this year.
If you're inner gorehound needs to be fed and if you're inner misogynist needs to be jerked off I highly recommend The Taint. You won't be disappointed by this throwback 80s splatterfest.
The Vitals
Check out the trailer below.
The Taint Trailer (NSFW) from Dan Nelson on Vimeo.
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