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20120327

10 Hipsterish Things Some Horror Fans Say and Do

I wrote on my Facebook page:

Everybody should calm down and stop being elitist horror fans for a sec because you saw Battle Royale. How about the fans who READ the book? They're more hipster than the ppl who saw the movie. But they better not make a film about Ennis Preacher or I'm gonna bust heads....

Well don't I sound all fuckin hipserish right??? It got me thinking that we horror fans say and do some hipsterish things (sometimes we realize it, sometimes we don't). Oh I do them too, don't get me wrong. But when you think of horror fans in their late 20s, early 30s and older there is a level between these age gaps that have them acting like the vile Williamsburg scum we all despise. We are all guilty. Girls, that dark eyeliner is horror hipster-nista. Dudes, that beard you're growing? Alpha hipster. Here are few of the things I notice. I'm gonna get shit from this I know. Fuck.

1.) Anything made in the 70s and 80s is a fuckin cult classic

Remember, millennials think Scream is a cult classic and that was made in the 90s.

2.) We tell noobs to see the originals before the remakes

Sure Hollywood bastardizes the originals but some of our "originals" are remakes too.

3.) We're too good to see a movie based on a bestseller because we saw a cult movie based on a cult best seller

What could I be talking about?

4.) We all wear ironic horror t-shirts with humorish text or 80s slasher nostalgia

Yup I own a few of these Fright Rags.

5.) We constantly refer to Cannibal Holocaust and Blair Witch Project as the best found footage flicks. Everything else sucks.

Many of you will disagree with this. I just want another cannibal movie.

6.) We rage when Hollywood skull fucks our childhood by remaking horror movies, yet we go en masse and see these shitty movies

How ironic right?

7.) We all have horror blogs

I just called myself a horror hipster douche bag. I'm a sonnavabitch.

8.) We tell noobs that we've seen obscure, foreign, hard to find, banned video nasty films.

Most of these are on Amazon.com.

9.) We also say the French, Japanese, Chinese, Canadian, British, German make the best horror flicks these days.

We don't watch any of these because we hate subtitles.

10.) We've all met Kane Hodder, Ken Foree and Tiffany Shepis at some horror convention.

And we've all made that our Facebook profile photo.

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Guilty as charged? What other shunning the mainstream things have horror fans done they may not be aware of? Now I'm going to watch Addio Zio Tom because you never heard of it.

20120215

The Jaded Viewer would like a cameo.....please?

I'll admit it. I've reviewed a ton of indie horror movies and sometimes its truly gratifying to have a filmmaker, writer or director thank you for giving such a good review or promoting a film. Though I love writing this blog and supporting indie horror I also do love getting free shit. I don't get paid for the site (I run no ads). But a part of me longs to get an e-mail that says:

"Hey Jaded Viewer, do you wanna have a cameo in our film?"

Fuck yeah I do. Every horror blogger would love to be asked that. Hell, I don't want even speaking lines. I'd like to just be in the background pretending to hold a conversation with a hot girl speaking gibberish. Of course, it would be kinda cool to "die" in a horror movie. I mean that would be the awesomest cameo wouldn't it?

All horror bloggers blog for the love of horror but the perks are pretty fun to. We've all probably met our fair share of celebs, filmmakers and stars. Hell when Eli Roth tweeted back to me one time, I was thrilled! But I wouldn't mind being slaughtered by a rich psychotic douchebag either.

Clearly, I have no acting experience whatsover. I 'm not part of any guild or organization for acting but I'm sure not all indie actors might be either. I can say I was once a zombie in a college short film but I've never actually seen the short and I only did it to hang out with a cute girl. The funny thing is I entered that Walking Dead sweeps where you could have been flown to Atlanta to have a zombie cameo. I entered that contest like a zillion times. That would have been the dream cameo.

So I'm putting this out there. If you're filming an indie film or indie horror, I'd love to make a cameo in your film playing any part. You need me to be a cadaver? I'm there. You need a homeless looking guy? I'm your man. You need a delivery guy? I'm always on time.

Horror bloggers and fans, if you could have a cameo in a horror film, which filmmaker or director would you want to be in?

And seriously...I'm an awesome zombie. I've got my staggered walk and echo moans down pat. We all need the jaded viewer zombie.

Make it happen.

20120125

Interview with Stuff Monsters Like

It's rare that I get asked to talk about myself and my blog. But when I do, it's an honor and I will go out of my way to make it as fun as possible. So when the awesome-tastic site Stuff Monsters Like asked me to do a celebrity interview, I said "Who's the celebrity? Wait you mean me?"

So I obliged and answered the questions in only the way I can...by being all around goofy. Check out the interview and read my thoughts on the state of horror, how the jaded viewer got started and which country makes the best horror movies. Plus I think I make a reference to porn. I'm pretty sure I do. Yup, tons of free porn.

Check out my interview with Stuff Monsters Like
Check out Stuff Monsters Like (they've got cool interviews and awesome reviews)
Also check out their Facebook and Twitter pages

20120116

Best/Top Horror Movies of 2011 (Compilation from the Internet)

Hi y'all! (as Tucker and Dale would say) Well it's that time again where I make your life easier by compiling the top 10 (or best of) lists for 2011 for every major film and horror site, horror blog and online magazine out there on the interwebs. I'm not sure why I do this. It's a bit of a headache but it's fun comparing my list to everybody else.

I haven't tallied all of them but checking on most of them, you'll see the same movies on the list though a lot of different #1's. You'll see Insidious, I Saw the Devil and Tucker and Dale vs Evil on numerous lists. Yup they're all on mine as well. Be sure to check out my Top 10 Horror Movies of 2011.

Lot of readers or random stumble upon people like this aggregated post every year (Yeah I notice you all!). Everybody like me wants to know what they may have missed and get caught up. I'm the same way.

Well here ya go. Like last year, I've divided it up by different categories. Enjoy!

Horror Bloggers

Horror Websites

Film/Movie Sites

**Thanks to PromoteHorror.com for aggregating some of the lists**

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Did I miss a site or blog? Tweet me your list or post it on my Facebook page and I'll add you in. If you don't have a site, leave your top 10 in the comments below.

Appreciate the effort? Become a follower of the jaded viewer on Twitter and a fan on Facebook!

20120106

The Best Jaded Viewer Features of 2011 You May Have Missed

Sometimes throughout the year, I'll miss a damn good post by another horror blogger. It's hard to go back and see what good stuff has been written by them. I mean how will I ever get to read it if he or she doesn't tell me about it again?

Well I'm hoping you use this post to get to read some of my best features, reviews, lists and article I've written in 2011. Seriously, some of these are kinda hilarious if I say so myself. I re-read them and I'm kinda amazed I actually wrote it.

My favorites out of 2011 are my Half Moon review, the Sucker Punch photo blog, the Netflix vs VHS post, the Occupy Wall St/Romero article and when I reviewed Exit 33 starring Kane Hodder by parodying Rebecca Black's Friday.

I hope you get a kick out of these and LOL as you read them. Enjoy!

January

My review of Half Moon which stars pornstar Tori Black where I count how many times I see either boobs, the moon or a wolf
The Roommate: What the generic still photos actually tell us
My predictions for 2011 weren't really accurate
2010 Top 10 horror movies

February

March

April

May

June

Congrats! You're a Horror Blogger....now what?

July

A Picture review of Bloodrayne: The Third Reich
The WTF List: Sucker Punch (trust me it's pretty good)

August

3 Pairs of Arnold Schwarzenegger Films that are Unintentionally Connected
5 Social Media Sites that would reinvent the horror movie
5 Horror Movies Hollywood will NEVER remake (because they don't know how to)
Exit 33 Review (I review this movie by parodying Rebecca Black's Friday and via tweets from other horror bloggers)

September

Insano Steve's review of The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence

October

November

December

The Best Quotey Quotables from the Worst Movies I saw in 2011
Final Girl's Bloggenaire: The Jaded Viewer (a lost Q&A interview with yours truly)

20110616

Congrats! You're a Horror Blogger....now what?

As a horror blogger, I've realized that being a blogger is quite different from being a horror journalist. (obviously) I'm pretty sure the guys at Bloody Disgusting, Dread Central and Fangoria get the best perks in the horror world. I'm not shorting the horror blogosphere. We also get some decent perks for being the soldiers in the intertubes horror community.

What I can say is I do enjoy the few perks I do get as a now established horror blog site. I'm sure there are blogs within the horror blogosphere that get tons of cool shit, being bigger than my little old site but I'm thankful everyday I get a few scraps from the horror world. So here are a few things I do get and also a list of things I WISH I could get.

I DO....get access to screeners for lots of indie horror movies.

I DON'T...get access to screeners for big budget Hollywood horror flicks (screw you Lion's Gate)

I DO...get to go to press screenings for some awesome indie horror and cult flicks.

I DON'T...get to go to any press screenings for see any mainstream horror flicks.

I DO...get some free stuff sent to me like books and DVDs.

I DON'T...get crazy novelty items or memorabilia.

I DO...get offered to go to press junkets for indie films.

I DON'T...go because I have no actual camera crew to film me interviewing these celebrities.

I DO...get to see some behind the scenes and trailers early before they get released to the public.

I DON'T...get invited to visit any movie sets or hang out with the filmmakers.

I DO...sometimes get to meet directors and actors/actresses in a non horror fest sorta way.

I DON'T...get to meet the horror scream queens I have huge crushes on.

I DO...get acknowledged by some horror icons via Twitter.

I DON'T....get acknowledged by some horror icons via Twitter.

I DO...get my reviews quoted in a trailer, poster and on official sites.

I DON'T...or should I say never have gotten a quote from one of my reviews on the back of a DVD box.

I DO...get to go to cool haunted houses for free to review them.

I DON'T...get to go to any film festivals because my site isn't big enough to warrant a press pass.

And finally....

I DO...get a few people reading my blog and for that I'm thankful (thanks all!)

I DON'T...seem to win any awards for my Spinkicks Ratings system (ahem LAMB!)

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If you want to do your own list...go right ahead. For you new horror bloggers out there, don't fret if you don't have tons of comments (I never do) or get tons of pageviews or whatever. Just focus on your content and write good and funny posts that you're proud of.

Some blogs post everyday, reblogging horror news of the day. What I do is try to make each one of my posts as creative, unique and insightful as I can. And above all, I try to make my fellow jaded viewers laugh.

I'm like the utility player of the horror blogosphere. You may never have heard of me but when you read some of my stuff, it makes an impact. So if your a new and up and coming horror blog, drop me a line and maybe I can get you some mileage on your blog.

Send me a link to your site via Twitter or Facebook or leave a comment and I'll feature your blog in a post. I plan on doing one a week throughout the summer.

As for my fellow horror bloggers, what secret perk do you want that you haven't gotten yet?

20110426

2011 LAMMY Awards: For Your Consideration

Well I've never won a LAMMY. I figure there is a first time for everything. So I'm putting my name in the hat to win one of these categories.

Best Blog
Funniest Writer
Best Ratings System (It's freakin spinkicks!)
Best Horror/Sci Fi Blog
Best Movie Reviewer

There are tons of a great LAMB blogs but none have a ratings system based on Jean Claude Van Damme spinkicks. Hell if a movie deserves more than the maximum 4 spinkicks, it gets the Dim Mak aka "Death Touch". By giving this rating to a movie it becomes like 1000 times more lethal than it has ever been before. If I were to view it again, I'd die.

If you think I deserve any of the awards above, head over here and vote me in. Voting ends May 9th!

Thanks for your consideration!

Head over to the LAMB for some kick ass movie blogs.

20110110

Best/Top Horror Movies of 2010 (Compilation from the Internet)

Look at those links above! Hahaha, I couldn't resist. Well it's that time again where I make your life easier by compiling the top 10 (or best of) lists of every major film and horror site, horror blog and online magazine out there on the interwebs. I do this because I also like to see how it compares with my own list and because you deserve one place where you can go to instead of Googling for it.

Over a 100 lists are below (I've totally Googled out after compiling the list)

I haven't tallied all of them but checking on most of them, you'll see the same movies on the list though a lot of different #1's.

If I missed a list or you want yours added, drop me a line or leave a comment.

Now say thank you Mr. Jaded Viewer. Seriously. Just leave a comment letting me know this was somewhat appreciated. It'll take you two secs. Now fill in that word verification. See that wasn't so bad.

This year I've divided it up by different categories.

Horror Bloggers

Horror Websites

Film/Movie Sites

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Did I miss a site or blog? Send me an e-mail at jadedviewers at yahoo dot com and I'll add you in. If you don't have a site, leave your top 10 in the comments below.

Appreciate the effort? Become a follower of the jaded viewer on Twitter and a fan on Facebook!

20101117

Break (Review)

Break

Break (2010)

Directed by Nick and Becky Sayers

Well this is a first for me. One of the horror blogosphere's own Becky Sayers from The Horror Effect, with her husband has directed their first feature horror film. I know a few other bloggers have directed their own shorts or features but this is the first time I'll be reviewing one of my own brethren.

First, it's an accomplishment in itself to go out and go beyond blogging and making your own damn film. It's to be applauded on effort alone. The film was made in 2 weeks and a few thousand dollars. That's extremely low budget for even the lowest budget movies. From script to post production, the Sayers put blood, sweat and more blood into Break. The film is DIY filmmaking at it's most raw. Both Nick and Becky were Jack and Jill of all trades plus a crew and cast that were willing to go the extra mile. Kudos to them all.

But now let's get to the movie. Break is an experimental indie film that has a rawness that is not seen in many horror movies. But where it falls short, it makes up for with ideas. The ideas that flow from Break are interesting to say the least. The obvious comparison is that it is similar to The Signal. I kind of think Break is an indier version of The Signal. Same sort of ideas but set to scale.

I could easily classify this as a "descent to madness and paranoia" movie or "teens gone crazy battle royale" but somehow you can sense the idea of a good/evil paradox coming through. That's not to say it's a perfect film. It suffers from all the markings of a low budget feature film and is a little incoherent at times.

But for a first feature film, it's slickly done and tries to provoke you to think. That's worth something in my book.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Reunited for the weekend, a group of friends are driven to violence when an unknown force seems to bring out the worst in them. Who will be the first to break?

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Going to breakdown the film by each 1/3 so you know what's the what.

The first 30....

The first half of the film is all set up as we follow a group of friends in Washington (state that is) as they party in a house in the woods. We get to know all of them and discover all their very unique personality traits. Michael is our level headed "hero", Kane our gun toting, beer drinking Stone Cold persona, Danny and Heather our normals so to speak. Running parallel is the story of Angela (Michael's GF, who oddly resembles Sarah Michelle Gellar to a tee) who lives in Cali.

It's your standard meet and greet for all of them. Angela however is soon abducted by Hector and they both begin to play a cat and mouse game of quotey quotables.

The next 30....

Soon, our house guests all start to hallucinate and de-evolves into madness. Flashbacked nightmares get everybody on edge and one by one they all start to go all homicidal. Soon Kane is hunting his prey with a shotgun as our cast dwindles away.

Meanwhile in Cali, Angela is seeing how demented Hector has become and he is the impetus for what the hell is going on.

The final 30....

All hell is breaking loose as the bodies pile up. Prey gets hunted and the hunter becomes prey. We get a thrilling conclusion and an ending that is bittersweet.

All 90.......

Wow I was vague wasn't I? OK, let's start off with the good. The film definitely has a nice look to it. Eerie shadows, a soylent green tint in some scenes and a few choice scenes of unrelenting violence. I'll admit, I could care less about those damn kids in that house. Teens going all crazy has been done before and I felt like I was watching a YouTube short.

What mostly intrigued me in Break was the scenes between Hector and Angela. Hector is a character who speaks in quotes from notable writers and authors. His reasoning for kidnapping Angela is cryptic but becomes clearer as the world is soon gonna go all apocalyptic. We don't know in the beginning why everybody goes all crazy but this gets explained by what I like to call "crazy talk" by Hector.

Angela somehow redefines "victim" with her backtalk. She criticizes his logic, insults him and seemed fearless. Their dialogue is cluttered with extra syllables and scrabbled words that kind of didn't make any sense. Why is Angela ridiculing some mad man who was about to kill her? I had to admit though, I wanted to know what they would do and say next. Their conversation is where the ideas from Break come from.

Good vs evil. Do all people have parts of the devil inside them? And if they do, does it all need to be triggered in some way and then we all"break" into madness? Sadly, we only touched the surface of this subject. I would have liked to have seen how this unknown force was handled by more characters. Our kids in the woods seem to easily become Jason Voorhees-es pretty quickly. Seeing their struggle to overcome or succumb to "the signal"would have been a more interesting thing to see.

On the technical side, Break also suffers from a few nauseous shaky cam moments and a few scenes of pure darkness. I'm not going to overly gripe about production here but it has to be noted. At times, the movie seemed to chug along into random filler moments.

The acting is tolerable but at times a little questionable. Upon seeing the death of one of their friends, the others didn't act so distressed. Umm their is a girl with a shotgun hole in her chest. I think I'd be a little shocked, wouldn't you? Some of the cast give no emotional ooooomph to their performances though the standout has to be Jonathan Bruno as Hector who plays an evil incarnate apprentice pretty well.

The dialogue is a little clunky. I'm not sure why but some lines seemed so out of place situationally. A quick exchange between Hector and Angela as Hector forces her to take a shower has got to be a total WTF moment. But I may be nitpicking at this point. The dialogue clearly pushed an agenda and taken as such, I see it as a necessary evil.

Overall Break earns points on atmosphere and ideology. It's clearly got a few wrinkles in it but it's a solid collared shirt of a movie. Break is a film that takes the conventional and mixes in the experimental. It's a cocktail some people may like and others will hate. But no matter, what you think of this low budget indie horror film, you can't deny that it was made for horror fans and for an audience that likes a little thinking in their horror.

Here's hoping it breaks through.

Nude-ipedia

Nada

Gore-ipedia

Slice and dice

WTF moment

That uncomfortable shower scene dialogue

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

The directors have sent Break to the Big Break Movie contest held by Rogue and AMC. If the movie makes it to the finals you can vote here.

Head over to the official site for more info and as always check out one of the best horror blogs out on the intertubes, The Horror Effect.

Rating:

Check out the trailer below!

20101020

What horror movies do you put on for your non horror loving friends?

October is the usual time my non horror friends and family ask what horror movie should they go see. Paranormal Activity 2? Saw 3D? So it's fitting that Mike over @ All Things Horror posed this same question to the horror blogosphere. What horror movies do you put on for your non horror loving friends?

I of course picked the Lucio Fulci's Zombie and you can read why if you head over to All Things Horror. There you'll see the other opinions from some top notch horror bloggers. All have great recommendations and I agree with a majority of their selections.

If I had to add more to my list, I'd definitely add what's already been mentioned. The Descent, Halloween, The Evil Dead and The Shining. All are solid picks.

What I'd also add are a few mainstream selections from my Top 10 Horror Movie list from last year. Zombieland, Let the Right One In, Trick R Treat and Orphan. Non horror fans scoff at "classic horror movies" so you won't be able to convince them to watch something from the slasher 80s or the supernatural 70s. Subtitled? Fughedaboutitt.

I think the criteria has to be the following for non horror peeps:

90 minutes max
One star they recognize
If it has a zombie, vampire or werewolf it will probably be tolerated
Most non horror people always think they are seeing a "scary movie" which is different than a horror movie. It's your duty to recognize what they like and show them what's appropriate
If there are boobs and gore, it will usually fly but this might not be for everyone
Non horror fans usually think whispering children is scary
Horror comedies are always a solid choice. It's something familiar to them and something that's not. Like and Irish coffee.
If you are watching a scary movie make sure it's in the dark. Atmosphere is everything.
Your non horror fan will never be completely turned over to the dark side. So sometimes you just gotta give up.

Well that's my 2 cents. Be sure to head over to All Things Horror for some solid recs. Now get ready for the barrage of recommendations because Halloween is a few weeks away!

20100811

the jaded viewer heads to Texas to meet his long lost cannibal family!

The Jaded Viewer will be on hiatus starting today and all of next week as I go on vacation. Where you might ask? That big blob of a state called Texas. I'll be visiting my long last family who have a chainsaw fetish. Uncle Leatherface is always fun to hang out with. He loves scaring oversexed teens and killing the disabled. I'll be road tripping across this great state, downing beers, eating cow and watching baseball.

As always, I'll be mindlessly tweeting my thoughts on anything that seems remotely curious. If you live in Texas, say hi. I'll be the goofy looking tourist guy who will be staring at over sized cowboy hats.

You can follow me on Twitter @ jadedviewer to read about all the fun.

While I'm gone, I implore you to keep the FIRST EVER Horror Blogosphere "Choose Your Own Adventure: The Detention Dungeon" going. Read my original story, pick your choice and head over to horror blog to continue the story. Then you can write a continuation of the choice you want! Trust me, it'll be awesome.

See you when I get back!

20100805

Choose Your Own Horror-venture: The Detention Dungeon CONTINUES...

Thanks to the following awesome bloggers who've already participated in keeping this first ever Choose Your Own Horror-venture going. So far, all 3 choices have been continued by:

Ryne @ The Moon is a Dead World who continued the story in the GYM.
Simon @ Four of Them who continued the story in the CAFETERIA.
Geof @ Enter The Man Cave who continued in the BIOLOGY LAB.

Now here is where the rest of you come in. Read the opening story by heading to my original post located here: The Detention Dungeon!

Pick where you want to continue the story. Once you've made your choice, there should now be 2 or 3 more choices to choose from. Pick the one you want to write about and continue the story! It's that simple. A caveman could do it. [insert ticked off GEICO caveman here]

If you want to write up multiple continuations, feel free to do so. If you want to continue on the original choices I gave, you can do that to but the best case scenario is to contribute your story from one of the blogs above. We can keep this going all over the blogosphere.

If you don't have a blog and want to use your Facebook Notes page, I think we can allow that as well. Hell, if you want to put your story up on a message board or a Tumblr page, go for it! Let's get this viral out into the interwebs and take it as far as it can go.

I want to see what the horror and movie blogosphere can come up with.

Thanks to Brandon @ Big Daddy Horror Reviews to help get the word out on this experiment.

Now get choosy!

20100802

Hey Horror Blogosphere: Choose Your Own Horror-venture!

Remember those Choose Your Own Adventure books? Weren't they awesome? It was like a video game but in book form. You'd read a few pages and then you'd have to make a decision on what to do next. Depending on your choice, you'd either succeed or you'd pretty much die horribly. The trick was you'd have to pick the choice that seemed more harder or dedicated in order to progress. I usually did the opposite. I'd pick the choice that seem to get me to the goal quicker which of course was totally freakin wrong.

I'm fond of these books and I wanted to see if we could do our own choose your own adventure book. But in this case, it's choose your own horror-venture.

I'll write a passage and will give you 3 different choices/endings and you write the ending of your choosing (pun intended!). The 3 choices or endings are in the same vain of the choices you'd get in the book. You could write a happily ever after choice/ending, another could be an open ended ending or it could be a completely miserable surefire death ending. It's up to you.

Hell if you wanted to write up your choice and continue to write a passage with a few more choices you could do that too. I just want to see what we all come up with. It's like a game of TELEPHONE sorta. It would be interesting to see what would develop from the story I wrote below.

Be sure to send me the link to your post with your choice/ending. It can be a paragraph or a few, it's up to you. Let's see what the horror blogosphere can come up with. If you don't have a blog and want to participate, leave your choice/ending in the comments.

I'm not sure if this will work but hell I think all of you are damn creative. And it should be fun.

The Detention Dungeon

You and your friend Terry are in detention. Seems Mr. Smith didn't appreciate your comment about gerbils in a blender and now your stuck in detention. You've been passing the time pretending to study your textbook "Animal Extinctions of the Last 20 Years" but in reality you are tweeting to one of your 106 followers.

Terry asks "how long do you think we'll be here for?"
"I don't you know" you respond, feeling angsty after drinking your 2nd Red Bull.

Mr. Smith puts down his newspaper and gets up. He's got a pulsating forehead and his mustache seems more twitchy. You're a little scared because this time he seems more serious. He usually talks big but he's a big softy inside.

"Gerbils huh?" Mr. Smith starts. "If you really think that's funny, maybe something more than detention is needed for the both of you."

"Detention is fine," says Terry. Terry has told you on numerous occasions that she doesn't like Mr. Smith, who recently gave her a "D" on her paper. You feel this is a waste of time and your gerbil comment (which garnered lots of chuckles from the class) was freakin awesome.

"No, I don't think detention will do. I am going to have to have Mr. Lasher talk to you. I think he's the only one who can discipline the both of you" yammered Mr. Smith. You watch him collect his newspaper and pick up his bag and open the door. He sticks his head through the door one last time.

"You both stay here you hear until Mr. Lasher arrives."

You and Terry look at each other at the same time. Oh Mr. Lasher. You've never actually seen Mr. Lasher. The rumor was the really bad kids got a "serious talk" from him and we're never the same again. Some kids who "talked" to him usually became robotic and kept to themselves after talking to this unseen teacher. They also started muttering things under their breath and talking to people who weren't there. It was all weird. One kid even developed a speech impediment after talking to Mr. Lasher.

One thing's for sure, you didn't want to talk to him.

"C'mon, Terry I don't have a good feeling about this. I don't want to talk to Mr. Lasher" you say.
"You spooked by the urban legend? Terry asks in a sarcastic way.
"No" you respond, "but the kids who have talked to him are not right. Let's get outta here right now." you demand.

You quickly grab your backpack and your phone and crouch down as you open the door. Terry gives a sigh shrug and follows you out. You quickly dash to the exit but it's padlocked. You need to find another way out.

You start to hear footsteps and they're getting closer. It could be your heart pounding but Terry confirms your suspicions. Which way to go. You need to find an exit before the infamous Mr. Lasher arrives.

If you decide to go to the gym, turn the page to this blog: The Moon is a Dead World

If you decide to go to the cafeteria, turn the page this blog: Four of Them

If you decide to go to the biology lab, turn the page this blog: Enter The Man-Cave

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OK it up to you. Pick your choice: the gym, the cafeteria or the biology lab and write up what happens. You can keep the story going or you can write an ending. I get the feeling we're not going to see a lot of happy endings.

Once you're done, send me the link and I'll insert your link to the choice you picked. All I asked is when you do, please link back to my site (http://jadedviewer.blogspot.com) or to this post. It'd be fun to get a lot of the horror blogosphere involved. So if you can retweet and post links to get people to try this little experiment, the more the better.

Happy Choosing!

20100721

I've never been called Versatile, but I have been called ambidextrous

I just want to thank the bloggers who mentioned my site for this award. This includes:

(if I missed anyone who sent this my way, my apologies!)
Award Rules:

1. Thank the person who gave you this award
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Pass the award along to 15 bloggers who you have recently discovered and who you think are fantastic for whatever reason! (in no particular order…)
4. Contact the bloggers you’ve picked and let them know about the award.

Last year's awards fiasco has prompted me to not do #3 and #4. My blogroll to your right is filled with Versatile Bloggers and they have all probably gotten this award in some fashion.

Let's just say, the horror/movie blogosphere has the best community on the interwebs and as long as we support and comment on each other's blogs, it's going to continue to get better.

As for the 7 things....

1.) I absolutely hate tourists.
2.) I have mild insomnia
3.) I once saw 7 movies in one day at the same theater (they were all crappy movies)
4.) I played a zombie once in a short film (I never saw the film)
5.) I'm a devout Rockstar Games fan
6.) I start my day with some NOFX every morning
7.) I'm heading to Texas next month. Dallas, Austin and Houston are all stops..so where my bloggers at for a blog meetup!

Thanks again for supporting the site!

20100312

Vote for your friendly, neighborhood horror blogger: The Jaded Viewer!

Voting has now opened for Mr. Horror Blogosphere 09. I am the 3rd entry over @ Zombies Don't Run. I thought I was uber funny with the Q and A (look at me being fuckin cocky) Though at 2% of the vote I feel like Nader in 2000.

So check out my entry over at Zombie's Don't Run and remember...vote for me! (or vote for your the other guy...but if you do, the terrorists win). So a vote for the jaded viewer is a vote for America!

Mr. Horror Blogosphere Entry #3: The Jaded Viewer!

20100302

I'm not a Number!!! Mr. Horror Blogosphere Entry #3

I am proudly the 3rd entry in the Mr. Horror Blogosphere over @ Zombies Don't Run. I answered the questions to the best of my ability, but they were harder than a DMV driver's test.

Why no picture you might ask?

Well, I just forgot to send one. But more importantly, I'm going with the mysterious Ninja approach to the Mr. Horror Blogosphere. He's unseen, he's like a shadow...he's does not exist.

Hell, I'm not even writing this.

So check out my entry over at Zombie's Don't Run and remember...vote for the other guy!

Mr. Horror Blogosphere Entry #3: The Jaded Viewer!

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